If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.
Umm hello??? Do u have the death note @sharkgalaxy????
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Andulka
RMH

JVL
art blog(derogatory)
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
wallacepolsom
Cosmic Funnies

⁂
Keni

blake kathryn
Misplaced Lens Cap
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
YOU ARE THE REASON
occasionally subtle
d e v o n

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Monterey Bay Aquarium

ellievsbear
seen from Philippines
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from United States
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seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from Tunisia
seen from India
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seen from Brazil
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seen from Finland

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seen from United States

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@tricksterpuyon
If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.
Umm hello??? Do u have the death note @sharkgalaxy????

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Spin the wheel. That's who's trying to kill you.
Spin the wheel again. That’s who’s trying to protect you.
(If you have zero idea about a name you got, spin until you see someone you recognize.)
Are you safe?
Absolutely not. I'm dead. 100% dead.
I might stay alive, but it'll be a really close thing.
I'll take some hits, for certain, but I should be okay in the end.
A few attacks might get through, but nothing concerning.
The attacker might be able to get in one lucky hit. If that.
I am the opposite of worried. I'm 100% safe.
…Look. I've tried picturing this. But I honestly don't know how to answer.
(I've run this poll twice before, expanding it significantly for the second run. With about a year passed since that second run, I thought it was time to add another couple hundred names to the list and have another go.)
Assign an aspect of nature to prev
Waves at the beach
Rushing breeze through leaves
A crack of thunder
Flow of a river
The shine of a gem
Dancing embers of a flame
Torrential rain
Slow falling snow
An emerald sea of grass
Austere cliffside
A maze of roots
The endless oceans
I can do it. I can write a chapter. I am capable of putting sentences together. I know what a comma is. I am Aware of the Character.

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ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water
you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful
water²
*flies past*
What do they put in water that makes it taste different after it's been frozen even when that frozen water has melted
It tastes good I like it
happy belated birthday blue rat
tails will put your ass on blast dont even doubt
Obviously I love the bf to pieces but sleeping can truly be some trials and tribulations sometimes because he's the type of person who moves in his sleep + is difficult to wake up and this manifests in various random dangers to my person
Can't believe I forgot these two classics
make that trio polyamorous
tell her chilchuck

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me with my quilava
Your quilava.
the wording on this Jack russell vid beamed a permanent mark onto my brain
I still find it pretty funny that in fallout 3 you can get your karma down by just opening Moriarty’s terminal over and over again.
The slavers at paradise falls have heard of me. I’m the guy that opens people’s computers over and over again without asking first.
I'm reminded of the original Fable where you get negative 50 karma for divorcing... but only negative 5 for murder.
Well now that’s just silly
You get devil horns and a cloud of flies around you if youre evil enough.
Peasants will scream in fear and run from Dave the Five Time Divorcee
That’s pretty funny actually
I need my weird alone time or I will explode

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"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!
DIG
DIG
DIG
DIG
OOPS TOO DEEP
CLIMB
CLIMB
CLIMB
CLIMB
CLIMB
CLIMB
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic