If you’re in a relationship where:
your partner used to give you overwhelming attention, and now they won’t even look at you
you partner used to think the world of you and now they think nothing of you
you used to get swarmed with compliments and idealized to heaven, but now you’re harshly criticized for the very same things that used to be loved in you
you used to receive warmth, but now you’re getting anxious and unsure because of the their cold and uncaring behaviour
the other person cared about your every pain aand struggle, but now they make you cry and don’t care anymore
your partner used to make you feel happy and safe, but now you’re worried they might leave and abandon you for every little flaw they see in you
your partner used to comfort you over past abuse, but now they think you deserve it
your partner no longer thinks your pain is real
your partner reacts to boundaries by picking you apart and talking to you as if you are the worst, most selfish and demanding person in the world
you find yourself questioning your every word and action to see what is so horrible in you that you deserved this
know that you did nothing wrong. You did nothing to cause this complete change of attitude. All of these developments are a pattern of abuse, where the abuser idealizes, mirrors, and love-bombs a person until they depend on the support and get commuted in the relationship, then afterwards the abuser devalues and abuses, confident they will get away with it. What they did has nothing to do with who you are. You haven’t done anything to change their perspective of you; it was their plan from the start.
You are in an abusive relationship, and I’m sorry to say, but things will never go back to how they were at the start; that was only done to make you hold onto them as tight as possible. You’ll be starved for attention, denied your dignity, kept on eggshells, gaslit if you try to confront them, threatened with abandonment, and forced to live while aching for love and acceptance, while being told you’re not worth any. None of it was your fault. You are just as lovely and worth of love and attention as you were at the start. Their reaction to you changed only because it’s a part of the manipulation; you never stopped being a valuable, lovable person. They noticed you had a lot to give, and decided to wrench it away from you by force. You are not defined by who they say they are, and you deserve better.
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