I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out

@shandrak

NO

i love being up early but i love being up late. and i love getting lots of sleep. what now.

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

One time when my dad was in the hospital they were testing his orientation to time and place and said "Okay and what year is it?" and he said "1995" (he had dementia). And the doctor and I unconsciously exchanged a Look because it was in fact uhhh 2024 😐 and dad saw that and so when the next doctor did the test a few hours later he said "uhhhh...nineteen...nintetyyyy.......seven...???" and I was like okay, well, that IS closer, you do have to give him that

#he still knew immediately who I was which was deeply funny to me bc I was 7-8 years old in 1997 #"yes that is my daughter who was apparently born in her 20s"

CERTIFIED SICK CHICKEN POST

How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic

they got married btw

thank you t4t love sex and friendship