dont feel bad for suicidal cats

when i was little i was obsessed with pickles like i would eat a whole jar of pickles and my parents were like you need to stop doing that and i threw a tantrum bc i couldn’t eat pickles but i did start rationing them or sneaking extra pickles at night. and sometimes i would take little nibbles of the pickle and put them on a paper towel and press out the juice and pretend the juiceless pickles were some sort of mollusk bc i read a book about a girl who was stranded on an island and she ate beach creatures and snails to survive and the process made the pickles really chewy which is what i imagined these foods to be like and then i would suck the pickle juice out of the paper towel.

Slay

had this guy come into the store todayy and he had a full on coughing fit in the aisle he was wearing one of those blue generic masks and he was coughing so bad he was turning red and he came to the till and in between coughs and eye waterings he said ‘its not covid i picked this mask up off the floor and i think it has cat hair in it’ and then his card declined and he left

HE.  There exists a singular subject in that sentence and squidward is not NB.  We are shit-posters but we should try to have standards, damnit!

first of all youre a shit poster im a good poster second squidward isnt the only one underwater on spongebob dumbass

not to mention squidward is nonbinary