Helen who can clearly remember and explain why she decided to leave, who can recall every single emotion she felt and every step of her thought process leading to her leaving.

Helen who looking back feels like she never should have felt attracted to Paris this strongly feels like she never felt anything this intense ever in her life except for her later hatred for him as well.

Helen who knows she was unhappy with her life, like it was lacking something crucial she was hoping to find with Paris.

Helen who knows how much she loves her husband and home and knows whatever else she felt should not have been stronger then this love.

Helen who really genuinely cannot understand if this decision was hers. Helen who after thinking about this for seventeen years takes the blame fully on herself nonetheless because she is sick of not having any agency and cannot bare the thought that the decision that doomed her life wasn't hers to make. Who takes the full responsibility of the war because that makes her feel like at least she was in control.

Huh...

If your dialog feels flat, rewrite the scene pretending the characters cannot at any cost say exactly what they mean. No one says “I’m mad” but they can say it in 100 other ways.

Wrote a chapter but you dislike it? Rewrite it again from memory. That way you’re only remembering the main parts and can fill in extra details. My teacher who was a playwright literally writes every single script twice because of this.

Don’t overuse metaphors, or they lose their potency. Limit yourself.