Trapped By Fire

nice joke bro now i'm insecure

Me at my family

People always think if you want to hang out you have to DO something. Like… No.. Invite me over to your house, introduce me to your pets, give me a plate of Oreos and your wi-fi password. We can sit together in silence for HOURS.

friendship goals

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

Thanks I hate it

Customer service but you use your dirty talk voice

You’re a nasty little bitch aren’t you? Trying to return these shoes after 30 days.

Jeezus fuckin Christ

God is dead

And we have killed him.

I work in a blood bank, and constantly refer to blood types as flavors, such as “Oh, you need two units? What flavor is he?” And my older coworkers just look at me confused but my coworker that’s my age doesn’t miss a beat and responds “A Pos”

this is probably my favorite comment on this post so far

some guy at the mens bathroom was like oi whatre you doin here and i was like wym im not a girl and he was like aw fuck sorry you just got beautiful features and fist bumped me

this is so iconic we stan whoever this man was

Remember when you had energy to do things? Those were some wild times

I can’t get over how well this fits

“Y’all motherfuckers” is a gender neutral speech opener

me, laying on top of my significant other: hey