fat thigh energy

This post isn’t written in any known human language

I know exactly what was said here

when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.

suetonius: i heard that caesar was a big slut and also he liked buttsex and oral

listen it’s one thing to slut shame Caesar, but Cicero went around speculating in public about Caesar and the king doing it on a “golden couch arrayed in purple” where “the virginity of the one sprung from Venus was lost in Bithynia” so I don’t think good old Iulius is the only one who’s got to ask himself some serious questions here.

Julius Caesar was stabbed for being a bottom, please share for bottom’s rights

fun fact- there was a popular song/chant his soldiers would sing so where ever they marched they could announce it to the whole world

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2062 slutty years

treasure planet is a fucking phenomenal film and was released during a time where it was destined to be forgotten by everyone

Uh oh sisters! *containment breach alarm*

please help i don’t know anything about mp100 why is that gay 13yo’s hair so tall

WHY IS DRAWING HANDS SO FUCKING HARD

you are a fucking saint x2

no offense to people who say “this post must be reblog by everyone/you all better reblog this” but yall are so annoying. g-d bless