which reminds me actually. you know whats a pain in the ass? the way one can be so inconsistent and have basically everything fluctuate because of plurality. its not that big of a deal after you figure it out (at least hasnt been for us), but before discovering it? oh jesus christ it is basically hell.
like constantly feeling like youre lying or literally being made to lie because lying is safer than telling the truth. getting seen as a liar when youre telling the complete, honest truth. ive gotten better with it, but for a good while, lying was pretty much second nature. not in that i was good at it, but that i barely thought about doing it. if i was expected to lie about everything or else be treated like a liar anyway, and only seen as honest if i lied well enough, why would i ever be honest? why would i care about being a liar? discovering plurality made all this inconsistency start to make sense - it was just fluctuations based on the alter.
i think this is one of the reasons fakeclaiming bugs me so much. i was called a liar for so much as a kid when i was being honest, and thats the whole premise of fakeclaiming isnt it? taking random people and saying no, youre lying about your entire life experience, actually. do you see how this is a shitty thing to do (in general, but especially) to systems.
like, heres a fun anecdote: my father mocks me for my fear of fungi. why? because he thinks im lying about it. he thinks i, at the ripe old age of like 8 years old, decided to tell this like and kept up with it for the rest of my life. just Because. i dont remember exactly why, but considering he complains about me being inconsistent and having a "selective" memory and says i "make things up and then forget about them", im sure i can guess.
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