Hey

We have the categories of "man" and "woman", with men being dominant, in control, and powerful, and women not. These categories have historically been exclusive to cis people, but now we have transfeminism. Trans women are very clearly not a dominant, in control, powerful group in society, and they are women, so its very easy to fit them in to the existing framework. Men are still in power and women still aren't, its just that "women" now includes both women and the cooler women.

But trans men are harder to fit in. In trans-accepting feminism, trans men are accepted as men. But trans men are not a group that is dominant, in control, and powerful in society. We don't have trans men making laws, or being popular newscaster who can sway public opinion. Stories are not written with the "trans male gaze", as trans men are not expected to be the viewer. Trans men are not seen by society at large as especially trustworthy, likable, people that should be listened to.

So, to keep that framework intact, you either have to say that trans men are women and ignore their identity, or you have to say that trans men are men and therefore in power. Neither of these answers are good for trans men, and neither accurately describe trans men's place in society. Because while trans men are affected by misogyny, trans men have experiences of gender and sexual oppression that cis women don't. And nonbinary people, too, are shafted here; nonbinary people aren't a dominant group, but many are not women and many were not assigned female at birth. What do you do with that? (Well, just start lumping them with women, it seems).

Adding this on because it is important to acknowledge. Trans women being able to be fit into the cissexist narrative does not mean that they are unconditionally welcomed, especially in feminist spaces dominated by cis women. Many cis feminists will happily put "trans women are women" in their bio and talk a lot of talk, but will still be transmisogynistic and hostile to trans women who aren't the ideal thin, white, passing, binary femme they think best represents transfems. And again, this is specifically cis feminism that portrays itself as trans-affirming, and there are very much feminists who do not do this at all.

I think a lot of cis feminists end up pitting transmascs and transfems against each other, with a lot of "trans-accepting" cis feminists virtue signaling with transfems and demonizing transmascs, and many TERFs trying to lure in transmascs to demonize transfems. In both of these cases, that "support" is often extremely dependent on how palatable the trans person is for the cis feminist's agenda. A trans woman who acts or exists in the "wrong" way can and will be ripped apart for it.