All I do is try, try, try.

Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn't have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn't have to be a walk during which you'll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don't find meaning but "steal" some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn't make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.

The little girl’s sense of secrecy that developed at prepuberty only grows in importance. She closes herself up in fierce solitude: she refuses to reveal to those around her the hidden self that she considers to be her real self and that is in fact an imaginary character: she plays at being a dancer like Tolstoy’s Natasha, or a saint like Marie Leneru, or simply the singular wonder that is herself. There is still an enormous difference between this heroine and the objective face that her parents and friends recognize in her. She is also convinced that she is misunderstood: her relationship with herself becomes even more passionate: she becomes intoxicated with her isolation, feels different, superior, exceptional: she promises that the future will take revenge on the mediocrity of her present life. From this narrow and petty existence she escapes by dreams.

I saw Dev Patel kill a man with a knife and using his teeth

sorry, i got tired of listening to George Lucas's voice so i just stopped watching The Phantom Menace commentary like 30 minutes in. but, now seated to watch Dev Patel's Monkey Man (2024). as usual, i know absolutely fucking nothing about the movie other than the fact that people i respect have been giving it glowing reviews on letterboxd, i haven't read any of them but i know it's been getting great reviews. i also saw like a YouTube thumbnail talking about Indian representation in this or something but obviously didn't see that either. it's in my watch later for whenever i eventually got around to the movie so i guess that day is today.