you’re on the threshold of an amazing adventure

shoots you with a beam that immediately takes effect

oh my god i can feel the effect…

your adventuring buddy is like "here I got a fairy in this cage in case we need healing" and you're like "WOAH what are you doing you cant be pissing off fairies" and they go no look and the fairy is in the cage blushing and giggling and going noooo im so tiny and helplessssss

I’m sorry I support all jokes but cave johnson would not be supportive of trans women

Due to a recent accident in the labs, the boys downstairs have found a way to turn men into women. Amazing breakthrough, and we wish you all luck on your transition. And your job hunt. You’re all fired. Sorry boys, nothing against you. We just don’t need women around here trying to clean up the lab while the men are trying to do real work. Cave out.

the cambrian period was like 10 years ago

the cambrarin period was like 3 years ago

$1,000,000 deposited into your bank account every day for the rest of your life or sex with Jafar?

does jafar love me

hell no bitch

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

grossed is such a weird way to describe how much a movie makes. how much did this movie yucky

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

You don't remember my old url....? O-oh.. no its fine. I said its fine! Don't... don't touch me.

*trips while I'm running away and you get a panty shot*

Huh

Can you believe they tried to monetize this shit

Ok I'll go fuck myself

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich