Huge Meat Inc.

i took a nap and woke up in all these goddam spinanch

did anyone else just get pregnant

*irony-poisoned marvel movie quip that cuts through any sincerity or seriousness in the scene voice* wait - did anyone else just get pregnant?

hes right inside me isnt he

if you wiped every ICE agent off the face of the earth, a hundred million people would become safer overnight. if you wiped every furry off the face of the earth, the entire internet would collapse for good in a matter of hours. i know where my allegiances lie.

if you're in the throes of cosmic despair i cannot recommend museums enough. art or science or history it doesn't matter. oh we're all connected, all of us and everything, throughout all time and space, and no one, no one, no one is alone? awesome. that's what i thought i just wanted to make sure.

update I’m stone cold sober and started sobbing the second the those lil dogs came out

What shall i draw with my tools

It Mightt Seem Crazy What Im Bout To Say..

i find it v cute when rpgs offer me, someone whose sole strategy is “attacking enemies,” status changing effects. “this lowers your enemy’s speed” you know what else would lower their speed? being dead, from my fists

ever since i left the city YOU! (powerful shock wave emanates from me and shatters all nearby windows)

Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

i think the joker should start talking like this for real. no other character should do this only the joker. i want batman to have to deal with this

God what i wouldn't give to have the sheer stamina and work ethic of my next door neighbor. Every morning, 8am, the hammers and drills come out. he's putting up shelves. he's feeding cables through walls 6 inches from my pillow. He's putting together furniture. He's making smoothies. He's 74 years old. Does it piss me off? of course. But i have to admit that he is clearly also the superior being. I need The Substance but to turn me (anemic 20-something with the constitution of a consumptive Victorian child) into this absolute beast of a man

Met this same neighbor today as he was effortlessly hauling his bike up 4 flights of stairs having just finished a 20 mile bike ride and i (masked and bedraggled) explained that I'm on the tail end of a cold but venturing out as I've run out of food, and he was like "Aww no!! 🥺🥺 If you ever need me to pop down to the shops and do some shopping for you just let me know!!" like Steven, that is SO kind, truly, but I have to draw the line at you doing Meals on Wheels for me right now. what i actually need is for you to come with me on a Back To The Future style adventure and somehow make you my biological grandpa because my current genes are simply not pulling their weight. can you leave me your zest for life in your will, Steven. Steven please