Love your writing! How about a very selfish person becoming ruler of the kingdom, and the kingdom flourishing under them - for if everyone is happy, they will not rebel and the ruler will be safe and rich?
"But the kingdom is flourishing, how can they be unhappy!?" The ruler whined. "Come on! What is it now??"
It truly was a form of hell. All they wanted was to enjoy their life - their beautiful palace, their library, to float in their swimming pool in the sun drinking and at ease.
They'd assigned the best the kingdom had to offer for that cause. Delegates and committees who really, really, shouldn't need their opinion all of the damn time.
"There's not enough housing for the rising population, sire," the advisor said.
"So build more houses?? It's not hard."
"There is not enough land in the kingdom to support that, sire," the advisor said, tentatively. "We are a small nation, and the financial and agricultural costs of-"
"-You're the experts," the ruler said. "You're supposed to figure it out. Can we, I don't know, stop the population rising instead? Why are there suddenly so many people?"
"You got rid of the famine and the hardship, sire."
"Can we kill the complaining ones so everyone else can be happy then? I really think they're bringing down the mood with unecessary negativity. And I don't want riots. They do need to take some responsibility for their own actions. Maybe an educational course on abstience? Do we already have free contraception?"
The advisor stared at them.
The ruler sighed, pinching the bridge of their nose. They could feel a headache coming on.
"I just don't see why I have to have the answer to everything. What am I paying you for?"
"We would be able to acquire more land, and more resources for the building of houses, if we expanded our borders."
"I can't have a war," the ruler said, like the advisor was being very silly indeed. "The people would hate me. Also wars are expensive and disrupt my supply lines."
"There's also the issue of increased food shortages, sire."
"You just said I solved the famine!"
"And then there were more people, sire."
"Maybe we can poll the people and get them to vote on the issue and I'll just do what they pick. Do that." The ruler nodded, firmly.
The polls came back a week later, interrupting a particularly juicy part of the ruler's novel. Their eye twitched.
The polls showed that no one could quite agree on a solution. No one wanted to lose their home. Different groups all felt the other groups should be the ones shoved out somewhere less undesirable, or culled. They all really felt that the ruler should never actually have let the situation get so dire in the first place.
"Sometimes," the advisor said, gently, "it's impossible to please everyone."
"It's not that hard to be happy," they said. "Are they just incompetent?"
For the first time, since they took the job, something flashed in the advisor's eyes. A flicker of something like irritation.
"Sire," they said, still gently, albeit through gritted teeth. "Both people and governance are complex, with varied and sometimes competing needs and priorities. They are not trying to spite you. They are looking to you for help, as their ruler."
"And I'm looking to you, as my advisor, to sort these things. What about if I just gave you the power to make decisions in my stead, while I stay here?"
"Is that what you're doing, sire?"
The ruler considered, eyeing their advisor. Maybe not. Not with that flicker of irritation. Maybe it was simply time to get a new, more useful, more agreeable advisor.
"No, of course not," the ruler said, and forced a smile. "The problem is merely frustrating. I aim to please."
"You aim, sire, to be left alone with your riches unbothered."
"And if pleasure and a thriving economy is the side effect of that, I don't really think you should be taking such a judging tone with your monarch. I dislike it."
"I dislike the thought of you living here, contributing nothing, whining about every minor inconvenience of your priviledge."
The ruler gaped, jaw dropping open. "You can't talk to me like that!"
"You wanted me to advise you. I'm advising you to tread carefully and talk about your people with more respect, because as you clearly know, you exist in their service."
The ruler seethed. Blood pounded in their ears.
Had they not brought peace? Prosperity? More long-standing stability than any other monarch? Sure, maybe it wasn't always for the good of the kingdom, but that didn't stop the outcomes from being good.
Was it never, ever enough?
They'd thought helping the people be happy might give them what they wanted, but if the people were unhappy and always demanding more of them regardless, then why were they even trying so hard?
Perhaps their advisor saw something in their eyes too, because their advisor's expression shuttered.
They considered each other across the ruler's table.
The ruler scanned the poll results again, coolly.
"Build the new houses on the far border," they said. "Move the least useful citizens, and anyone who complains, to them. Kill anyone who resists and make it clear that any uprising will not be tolerated.."
The advisor swallowed, hard.
"You wanted me to make a decision," the ruler said, coldly. "The things you can also clearly see, but do not have the spine to decide for yourself, to earn my keep. I have done so. Do as I bid and leave."
The other good thing about having advisors, even annoying ones who should have known better, was that there was always someone else to blame.
When the people rioted against, their saviour of a ruler knew exactly whose head they would offer on a platter.
They were the one who'd carried out the orders after all.
Satisfied, the ruler went back to their book.
They were not bothered by advisors as much after that.
