lead me up the staircase

Me in my 20s waiting to get over something I haven’t fully gotten over since I was 12

taylor taylor and taylor looking at each other tonight like the spiderman meme

i fear i wont articulate this correctly but at the end of the video as they are running away from the building filled with speak now memorabilia being destroyed so she can escape, taylor stops and looks back. and that little moment is so complex and heartbreaking to me because its like. she was trapped in there counting the days on the wall for when she'd be free. but its so clear on her face when she turns back that she didn't want to have to destroy all of the things she'd done just to break free from being locked away, to own her work again. she took her speak now versions painting (her rerecording) and ran. but she still looks back on this building filled with the other pieces she couldn't bring with and stops for a second as if in disbelief, awe, heartache even that this what it came to in order to survive. it shows on her face so clearly. and the rest of the crew yells for her that they have to leave (that its time to go if you will) and she bolts. but ! that pause and all it entails! it hurts. the rerecordings are a great thing in the sense that she gets to own her work but its so painful it happened This way