it lives its whole life.

You meet god and she's mostly dead fish. You ask her why and she says most of the world is dead fish, and she's made herself to appeal to the most common denominator, the everyman funnyman comedy show that runs for eleven seasons but with the entire universe in mind. You ask her how much of the dead fish is your fault, she says it's far less than you'd think, in the grand scheme of things. You ask her if you matter at all. If you can do anything. She shrugs her rotting shoulders and says mattering is a made-up concept, like life, but sure, you can matter if you want to, on some scale. She has many scales. She doesn't know what you mean by 'anything', but you can do everything you can. You ask her if it's enough. She says there's no base requirement for deserving to exist. She's smoking a joint and the smoke filtering out of her gills gathers and forms gas giants and red dwarfs. You ask her if there's any hidden secrets of the universe you should know and she says it's not a secret if she tells, plus it's fun to let you figure it out yourself. You ask her if any of your questions were right questions and she says you worry about being right so much it might keep you from fucking around, which is as close to meaning of life as she ever bothered to make. You don't ask but she says she loves your hair, also your whole being, also your planet. She says she figured out what love is yesterday and is trying it out, which explains the ten thousand rainbows and sudden influx in rains of fish. She offers you a drag of her joint and you wake up half past midnight behind a chain restaurant clutching a smoked salmon. The new stars are winking like they're in on some joke and you're sure if you try hard enough you'll remember what it is.

@toki-wren

monday afternoon baby we gettin it!!!!!

if you warch all this you get to belive

This is it. This is the funniest thing I have ever seen.

Watched luca. The gay allegory is PALPATINE

holy fuck i'm older than uwu

i just rediscovered the pelican spider. give me 1-2 business days to stop laughing at how they're shaped and ill be normal again

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.

The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."

Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does

You realize elves are magic, right? YOU, a mere human, can't make super-powerful alcohol given the physical limits of non-magical human alcohol production in the real world. This post is not about humans in the real world. It is about imaginary magical creatures in an imaginary world with imaginary physics drinking 5th dimensional booze.

if you read what i wrote, you’ll realise that i said “presuming that magic also can’t make 100% alcohol” which implies that my addition to the discussion is merely a comment on the strength of the alcohol we currently have access to, and not the end-all be-all to the conversation. obviously magic could lend itself towards making super-concentrated alcoholic drinks, i simply chose to add to the discussion what we currently know about alcohol and its creation <3

my take: dwarves ferment the strongest normal alcohol, and can drink an unbelievable proportion of it. their constitution is unmatched when it comes to drinking. elves, on the other hand, have selectively bred a kind of grape to make wine that fucks you up in strange and new ways

rb and put what your entity is in the tags! i’m the stranger

hey heads up this is a super paranoia inducing quiz not to be fucked with if that shit bothers you, especially regarding body horror, unsanitary, and unreality.

@cannibalcanid