I remember back in fourth grade, my teachers planned a day for “the parts talk” (outside of the poorly-formed health classes mandated by the government) where they split the grade into two rooms – one for boys and one for girls. They gave everyone permission forms and invited same-sex parents/guardians to come along, and I don’t think any of the parents kept their kids from attending.
What was so cool was that the girls were in a room with the female fourth grade teachers, who we all knew, respected, and trusted (and the boys had the male teachers too). The other cool thing was that no one really talked about it after – I still don’t have a clue what the boys learned at all. That just goes to show the level of maturity kids can have when you give them the opportunity.
So I can really only speak for the girls here. They told us what would happen to us physically in the coming years – they normalized weird hair and achy boobs and vaginal discharge. They told us about finding the right deodorant and learning to shave with an adult’s help. Namely, they talked about periods. They taught us what to do when it first happens, how we might feel physically, and how we should handle situations where our period might get in the way in social situations. They explained how to pick the right pads and pantyliners and tampons – and they actually showed us, using a water bottle, how to use a tampon.
I’m reminded of this talk now because to this day, at the ripe age of 22, I still meet women my age who use pads simply because they never learned how to use a tampon and are now too afraid to do so. I find myself teaching my co-workers and friends with a water bottle, too. I meet girls who think that growing a mustache is a shameful anomaly, until I tell them that I still shave my own once a month. I meet women who never learned that you pee and get your period out of different holes.
I think everyone should have had that talk as a kid. I don’t think about it often – only when I’m reminded that so many people are not afforded that luxury. Of course, there were parts that were problematic – chiefly, how gender binary it all was, and how the girls were taught to hide their feminine care products in their pencil cases (as if having them is shameful) – but overall, I’m grateful. I’m seeing kids grow up before my eyes now, and I really want them all to hear that they probably smell bad and should use deodorant. Among other important things.
