The only person I care about entertaining is myself

He's hitting the "absolute amaze" pose

if you hate jazz you will die and go to hell

if you hate rap you will also die and go to hell

if you hate blues you will also also die and go to hell

If you hate rock you wil also also also die and go to hell

i just shit realllly hard and now theres only one ball in my scrotuum. what do i do i already flushed

Pray

I will never understand people who shut their cats out, and that's okay

Dont forget 1900 and 1800,

“we need more weird queers!” you guys can barely handle a hairy woman

and frankly? some of you struggle with hairy men.

If you're gonna call out twink lovers and bear haters learn their names

Yeah, that means its perfect for tumblr

mr. who?

There’s a large vehicle that occasionally drives past my house that just makes noise. I honestly think it was designed to make noise and do nothing else.

So the vehicle version of you?

I am not as big

Bro is petite

I am not 4 tons

Bro is tiny.

I am just not 4 tons

"I am"

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[muttering feverishly] I need to chase that man around my gothic manor in a silk nightgown

Like a scooby doo chase scene with the doors