It Comes In Waves

you know that quote "when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail" bc that's how i feel whenever i have a lysol wipe in my hand

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

what do the 4 people who always like my posts want for christmas

love being in bed under big winter covers i feel like an old king dying of illness telling his last will to his son

Tumblr isn't even a website to me it's like if my diary was a groupchat

huge shoutout to everyone who started their blog when they were teenagers and now they are in their 20s and 30s

feel like this mocking of 2012 cringe tumblr hits different for those of us who were there. to my younger followers: it really was like that.

Reblog for a miracle to happen tonight

BITCH I REBLOGGED THIS AT 4AM AND SOME FIT GUY FROM MY HOMETOWN SLID INTO MY DMS at 11PM LIKE GIRL HONESTLY iM

Can the miracle be that I actually fall asleep at a reasonable time

I’m starting to feel like that miracle is falling into a deep sleep and actually waking up rested. Bless this post.

I would like and could use a small miracle

MY MIRACLE WAS FUCKING AMAZING AND YEAH IT WAS TONIGHT INSTEAD OF LAST NIGHT BUT STILL

IT WORKED, PLEASE DO THIS YOU LITERLALLY HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE

It worked…I had a long convo with someone I missed.

Please.. I would give anything..

there's been an on purpose at the accident factory

tumblr finally getting its shit together and improving the user experience right around the time when all the other social media sites are collapsing due to greed and hubris is like the kids who got out of their small town to move to the big city finding love and settling down in their 30s just in time to watch their high school bullies get divorced