finished!!! aaa

listen. simon has to remain a flat character. the moment he starts having any agency or flaws the whole thing crumbles. he did his time being an actual character with marceline and having a heartbreaking exit as his fear won over his love for her, all merged into one. for betty he just has to be a kind of perfect loving guy. betty is a gambler who was extremely lucky to run into the sweetest man on earth. and then she lost him! knowing he truly was perfect for her makes everyone's misery worse. just yes it would've been perfect wonderful but yet you can't have it. ever. due to the flaws and bad luck and mistakes and choices made. hello. is anyone there.

there was the gag in Obsidian where finn’s towel blows away and in Fionna and Cake Simon was full ass out on multiple occasions but. do you think when he was ice king. like. they all saw right. he wore those nasty old bandages as undies there’s no way those stayed put. Almost everyone in Ooo has probably had the unfortune of seeing full frontal ice king at some point. am I wrong

HIS BOINGLOINGS

I think between Ooo Finn mourning Jake literally until the day he died and Farm World Finn constantly adding to the last soup his wife made that he has some very unhealthy tendencies maybe

I'm more interested in the team meetings that likely resulted from this, considering Nintendo's fastidious approach to polish. I can imagine one camp bringing in chart after chart defending those extra 1.5 apples, and another more or less going "No, this is New Zelda canon, it cannot and should not be changed. Link is 8.5 apples heavy and any change to this base equation will run the risk of endangering the entire product line."

Link isn't heavier. As humans repopulate Hyrule, they're harvesting more apples earlier. Mean apple weight has gone down 15%.

Link gained weight from all that Sheikah tech he ate in between the games, which explains where it all went.

god do y'all know the POTENTIAL Jonny gave us with that ending all the au’s that aren’t actually AU’s.  Jon and Martin coffee shop au where Martin is a barista and Jon is a surly customer that Martin has a crush on and Jon can’t help but think he looks familiar and there’s an odd sense of familiarity between them and they’re just drawn to each other. Martin knows Jon’s name before he even says it for his order and Jon asks how he knows it and Martin blinks and says, you must have been in here before at some point and I heard it maybe. Jon just nods, yes that must be it. They get to know each other and eventually fall in love.  Jon has a scars. He had bad chicken pox as a kid…he thinks he remembers that. Its fuzzy, maybe he was too young or the fever was too high…either way he has pock mark scars from it all over his body. He vaguely remembers a bike accident as a teen where he ran into a tree and got a branch through his shoulder. The scar on his neck is tricky, he thinks as a kid he tried shaving like he saw his dad doing, but the scar is too long for the razor to have properly made it…maybe it stretched as he aged. He burned his hand as a young adult, he was cooking and accidentally spilled oil. He ignores the fact that the burn looks like someone else’s handprint.  Finally, there’s a scar right under his left nipple. Its ugly and newer. He had a surgery, he thinks. Yes, that’s right. A surgery. Something wrong with a valve maybe? Ignores the fact that a heart surgery scar wouldn’t look anything like the one he has.  Martin traces his finger over it one day and cries. He doesn’t know why. Jon holds him and tells him he’s fine now. They both are