Prominant NPCs do not approve.

always complain about things. okay, you know how programmers explain their code to rubber ducks when it's not working? same principle. an appliance breaks down. I get pissed off, try everything, go through the various stages of despair etc. I complain about it to a friend and explain why it frustrates me so bad, and suddenly I'm thinking 'wait I should try unplugging it and then doing a factory reset and then—' and I go home and do that and it starts working again. I keep losing my earrings. I complain about it to a friend, about how I keep them all in a little dish but then the specific one I want always dematerialises the moment I want it. my friend says 'I just keep them on the little card backs they came with' and I think well shit, I always throw those out. but then I think aha I can make a bunch of pinholes in a decorative postcard. genius. I read a story. it's about something I'm usually into, but for some reason I don't like this story at all. I complain about it, I figure out what irritates me about it, I have a great idea for a way better story. I try a new recipe, it doesn't come together. I bitch about it like crazy, about what I thought I did right and how it failed, and before I know it I'm explaining out loud which parts I'm inexperienced at or didn't understand or adjusted wrong. I need a little table for drawing on. I complain about it in the group chat, two days later someone says 'hey I spotted the kind of table you're looking for on the side of the road, do you want to come pick it up'. I complain, endlessly. my life is enriched. the art of complaining.

True story: I got into stand-up comedy after going to another comedy show and watching a comic badly botch some crowd work. Spent the entire way home coming up with funnier punchlines than he did. My ever-patient wife suggested maybe I should do something with that, and here we are.

See what no one tells you about having parents who have been successfully polyamorous and active in the tri-state kink community for 29 years is that as their adult child, there is a high probability that at any event you go to someone will have slept with one or both of your parents. There is no escaping this. They've been doing it for decades. They've lain claim to like half the east coast

at 250 notes there is at least an 80% chance someone who has read this has slept with one or both of my parents. this is just the life i lead. i have learned to be at peace with this knowledge.

There is an entire statewide scene that I avoid because I'm concerned I might meet my cousin at a party. I cannot imagine how I would handle my parents being in the scene. Maybe move to Europe.

Thanks for the info!!! I really appreciate it!

Cremation, baby. If I'm not quite dead, I will be afterwards and very quickly at that. Also I'm enamored with having my ashes made into a diamond and assembling a family reliquary.

My great-grandmother was a whore, but not the whore we thought she was.

you're laughing. charles dickens had a son named plorn and you're laughing

Plorn

NICK I LOOKED IT UP AND SAW NOTHING OF THE SORT IS THIS A PRANK

technically his name was edward but everyone called him plorn

I have something worse

oh???

imagine getting stuck with the nickname Plorn

WHY WERE THEY SO CRUEL TO MY BOY PLORN

Born without a groove 😔

We need to get regular plorn back on this website.

To quote my wife "apparently I'm very good at working with ADHD kids because I don't find them too annoying. Like when they bounce their legs" (Looks at my bouncing leg) "or try to do two things at once." (Looks at me playing StS II while watching commander gameplay and talking to her.)

When she was reading the books recommended by our son's psychologist following his ADHD diagnosis, my wife kept sending me screenshots of passages with, "You've been doing this for 20 years."

I have found that not having any guns makes it quite impossible for a child, deliberately or accidentally, to find a gun in my house. Shocking, I know.

It's a great title, but highly deceptive. The creature is not a raptor and isn't actually from space, and there's no invasion. There is a butt, though.

That really depends on you? Does your non-binary gender identity encompass "woman" and/or "man"? If you're, say, genderfluid and the answer is yes, then go to all three. If you're, say, agender and the answer is no, only go to the mixed one. If an event is for men, then anyone who considers themself a man (at least partially / part of the time / enough for government work) can go.

Item: godburger

@prokopetz

Vitamin megadose "therapy" is of course nonsense for the most part, but I love how sometimes just carpet-bombing the problem is a legit diagnostic tool. "Hey, we think you might have a vitamin D deficiency, so we need you to buy this specific supplement and take ten tablets a day for a week, then report back." Fantastic.

I'm given to understand there's some disagreement in the field regarding whether 50 000 IU all at once or 10 000 IU daily for a week provides better diagnostic results; the former has apparently been known to trigger a manic episode in a small percentage of people!

... are you absolutely certain it was magnesium citrate? I'm just asking because I distinctly recall taking a large dose of magnesium citrate before a colonoscopy; because it is a harsh and extremely effective laxative.

I have devices that are coming up on twenty years old that I'm hesitant to replace not because they don't need it, but because whether or not the prospective replacement has any hardware-level phone-home lockouts that will turn it into a brick every time my Internet goes down turns out to be a surprisingly difficult question to answer.

"I want the dumbest fridge you have. No sensors, no remote control, no AI cooling, none of that. It shouldn't even know what the internet is. It should be a box that makes things cold. No, I don't even want a temperature control readout. I want a mercury thermometer and a knob. Dumb box make cold. Sell me that."

There are few things funnier to me than the white-hot raging beef parents can have with fictional characters written for young children. You want to hear one of the funniest rants of your life, you ask nearly any parent of a young child their least favorite little cartoon guy. It'll be amazing.

Thomas the Tank Engine kowtowing to Sir Toppum Hat while the other engines get punished for being "cheeky."