Anxiety, anxiety: you give me no mercy

the church of england was literally started because henry viii, a man who cheated on his wife multiple times and had at least one child with one of the women he cheated on her with, wanted a divorce that the catholic church wouldn’t give him.

Who is she?

I AM STUNNED BY HER

i like binturongs. the musk they release apparently smells like buttered popcorn and they look like dr seuss characters

😡😡🤬🙄🤬😠😠😠😾(why is there an angry cat? why isn’t the angry cat giving any standard ‘unhappy cat’ cues??)😠😠☹️🙄😞😠😡🤬😤😤😤

😡😤write the blurb😤😡

ok thank you for your time. hope i didn’t decimate you with my phenomenal bulling and unparalleled antagonising message

The sky is an angry pink, a sure sign of storm on the horizon. You try not to look. Try not to think about what you're doing. The choice, after all, was made hours ago. It cannot be unmade now.

If you look up at that sky, frothing with clouds launched from some unseen master's spraypaint can, you will question yourself.

If you look down at the grass, crisp and brown from a summer without rain, you will find another question waiting. And another still in the incline, the curve stretching up, up, up toward that stormy horizon. Another still, in the tread of your worn canvas sneakers, slipping here and there as you grind your teeth, force your legs to carry you ever higher.

You can't afford the questions. You can't afford much at all, except the acid in your thighs, the aching clench of your calves, the sweat trickling down your brow. You don't think about any of it.

You climb. You climb, and you keep the words in your head. They came to you, unbidden, like a song in the middle of the night. They came to you, and you knew they would work. They always have before, for anyone fool enough to shape them.

Are you a fool? Outside answer suggests yes. Outside answer suggests anyone who strides--no, not strides; runs--up a slope that crests like a capital D at dawn must be a fool. Mad, at the very least. But you know, in your heart, that this will work. That one must sacrifice much for this sort of collusion. It's the oldest formula in the world, isn't it? Height times slope times hubris. No room for question. No room for letting the madness settle in your belly.

You climb, as near to a run as you can manage, up and up and up, and the words come. The words shape, salt-hot, breathed in sharp, ragged pants. Any god worth stretching toward will listen. The oldest ones always do. That, some part of you understands, is the danger.

Make the deal. Make the deal with the oldest words, multiply height and slope and hubris, demand what you must. God will answer. Which one, you can't say, but it matters little. Climb. Ask. Make the deal.

When you reach the top, the spell will catch, pull tight, an enduring knot yanked to absolution. Invisible hands will clasp. Salt-rhyme words will burn.

The person who slides down the other side of this hill--who will they be? You will not know, not for certain. Not until you return home, to that little room with its scratched-silver mirror. Until you peer into the glass.

Who will look back? Will you find the deal has been accepted? Will you find the old gods--whichever is good-humored enough to listen in on the prayers of mortal fools--wanting?

Whose eyes will gaze back?

She laughed SO hard when I read this aloud to her.

“We were always calling ourselves the ‘Scooby Doo’ gang, like we were Daphne and Velma and Shaggy and Fred.” — Maya Hawke

The most loathsome motherfucker on the planet.

What a perfect illustration hof how the super rich see themselves. So obscenely rich they can buy out a Disney World ride, but so elitist and greedy that no one else is good enough to ride it with them.

the second guy called me from my local bank branch's number and told me "someone in another city is attempting to make purchases with your debit card information" and after i expressed obvious distress he told me "don't worry, this is what i'm here for. we're going to get your cards/accounts cancelled/closed and then we'll all i need you to do is verify the 6-digit code that i've sent to your phone"

that 6-digit code was the code to reset my online banking password 🙃 which i didn't realize at the time. he then got into my online banking account and e-transferred himself $2,800. my bank reclaimed the money but i had to close my bank accounts, then open new bank accounts, cancel my debit and credit cards, get new debit and credit cards, alert two credit unions that i was a victim of fraud, change all my fucking passwords, etc etc

sorry if this shit is obvious to other people but it was not to me so:

if someone calls you, claiming to be from your bank telling you that there are suspicious charges on your account, hang up on them and call the number on the back of your debit card. worst case scenario, you hung up on someone and called a different person back but at least now you know you're talking to someone from the bank. best case scenario, you just hung up on a scammer and are already on the line with someone to report it.

"BuT mY pHoNe SaYs ItS fRoM..."

Seriously, just NO. Spoofing is a thing! I now treat phone calls like how I treat those "urgent" emails which claim they need your info to confirm stuff. They get no information from me and I go to the legit contact for whoever is trying to supposedly talk to me.

When I got a scam call in the middle of the night and answered expecting it to be work-related, I heard, "Hello I'm calling from your bank." No names named at all. And it was well past bank operational hours. I snorted and hung up.

Spoofing is the new method of scamming folks. Another method of determining if they are real is to tell them your unable to talk at the moment and you’ll call them right back. You can attempt to get a phone number from them if you’re feeling plucky, but if they’re any good at scamming it won’t be easily traced back to them. Then call your bank yourself.

When I say Julien is the REASON I found out about my wife’s…skill set.

Me, years ago: you have to watch this, it’s hilarious