witchbitch

A version of you I manifested , knowing it would never exist.

So hopeless, after years upon years I’ve spent trying to fix you

Into something you couldn’t be , it took me months until I could no longer look at you.

Hurting me , strengthens you,

my blood on these walls, from the bitch slaps you gave me on the “extremely delicate face” that even caught your attention in the first place.

You say you loved me

But you loved a version of me.

A version, I could no longer serve to you,

And you used that to benefit you.

A kink, so disgraceful, it should be considered a sin.

To rape one, is just undeniably horrendous and to enjoy the cries for mercy, to the point it makes you stronger, I pray for you

You’re disgusting , you pig , you rely on woman who submit to you. You’re nothing but a

Coward ,

I’m ashamed you’re mother wasn’t better to you.

Is it because your father wasn’t there? You feel the need to degrade women?

Or is it the child you now have , even after cheating on the woman who birthed her.

Tell me does she know? Or does it have to be me to let her know? Because that beautiful baby girl Delilah deserves so much better , her daddy is a cheat, a thief and a liar

I mean I have the right to be so hurt because she was the woman you told me not to care about

But to take my virginity and then beat me and use me and

To move and drop me and ghost me and forget me ,

I’m some used toy in your twisted little mind , maybe one day you’ll be able to find

The courage to apologize for the way you have treated me , and take responsibility for being the asshole that belittled me.

Staring at the ceiling.

I am broken, I don’t even know how I am feeling.

I am numb, I am happy,

I am sad, I am angry.

these emotions running throughout me,

But I guess it could be worse.

The sound of silence is loud ,

I can hear it all day long.

Everyone claims that I am quiet,

But I will prove them wrong.

This loneliness is impossible

I think I just might give up,

But the angel sitting at my door

Said to lift my head back up.

She got me off the floor,

Wiped off all of my tears,

Told me to look up,

And to wash away my fears.

I am stuck inside this bedroom

With no realistic escape ,

I’m trapped behind these bedroom walls,

Losing all of my fate.

I am alone out here,

No one to bring me home,

My mom says it’s better now.

But truth is,

My life is gone.

I lost all my friends,

My job , my strength and Sanity,

I lost the thing that made me, me.

And that is New York city.

I am lost in this room,

With 4 bedroom walls,

And nothing but some music

To silence the tears,

That look like waterfalls,

My demons scream so loud,

I hear them loud and clear,

they tear me down, they silence my words, this isn’t how it should be.

They rip me limb from limb,

They tear down my self esteem,

They tell me to give up,

I have this aching need.

But then I think of the angel beside my door,

Who told me to get up and try once more,

I will think of her , every time I am down.

Because no one or nothing will ever knock me down.

I am lying awake, no longer frozen

Or staring at the ceiling,