Fallen The Puppet

Say wearing your pink collar around the house means "I'm a puppy today"

Or a black collar meaning "let's do CNC play today"

Maybe a purple one for "no sex please only cuddles!"

By no means am I an expert, but see the below list to help guide your little into littlespace and keep her there as long as her little heart desires. Hopefully you see something new or something you’ve never considered!  Emotional Care! ——————————————————–

- Ask her if she’s being a good girl - Tell her when she’s being good - Remind her how small she is - Call her cute little or pet names - Talk to her in a cute voice that brings a smile to her face - Say encouraging words - Make her blush - Congratulate her on doing something difficult - Always tell her you love her more. Never give in - Ask her a silly question - Playfully and politely tease her - Sit her in your lap - Cuddle her - Cuddle and tickle attacks - Pick her up and carry her around - Kiss her forehead - Kiss her cheek - Always offer her a hug. From the front and from behind - Pet/pat her head - Pat her diapered butt - Boop her nose - Wiggle her piggy toes - Blow raspberries on her belly - Hold her when she’s sad - Wipe away her tears and console her - Be her safe place to go when she needs one - Hold her when she’s shivering - Play with her hair - Take pictures with her - Put her drawings/colorings on your fridge - Interact in her little space - Lose to her puppy dog eyes - Ask her if there is something daddy can help with - Leave her cute easy to read notes, or little pictures to show you care - Let her smell you, spray your cologne on something for her - Let her wear one of daddy’s “grown up” shirts around the house

Physical Care! ——————————————————– - Kissing her ouchies - Calling any injuries ouchies or boo boo’s - Give colorful Bandaid’s with childish designs - Wrap her up and tell her she’s brave for not crying (Or tell her that anyway even her tears have subsided) - Rub her tummy when it hurts - Hold her hand in public so she doesn’t wander off - Help her get something she can’t reach - Buckle her seatbelt - Order for her - Never let her pay - Let her pick out a toy or treat, and buy it for her - Randomly bring her paci to her - Telling her to say “ah” before putting her paci in her mouth - Take her somewhere it would be okay to dress as a little - Open doors for her - Cover her eyes with your hands to hide them from scary or inappropriate things - Let her help you pick something out - Frequent diaper checks - Surprise her with a ‘little’ gift if you haven’t seen her in awhile - Pack a diaper bag in front of her if you’re both going out so she sees firsthand all the little stuff you are bringing along

Time to Get Ready for the day, Baby Girl! ——————————————————– - Good morning text when you’re not around - Pull her close and give her a good morning kiss - Ask her about her dreams - Change her diapers. Baby Wipes, Powder, ointment when needed, baby lotion and a kiss at the end for being good during her change - Undress her - Give her a bubble bath - Wash her hair (make sure she closes her eyes so she doesn’t get shampoo in them when you rinse) - Dry her off with a towel - Choose what she wears for the day - Dress her - Tie her shoes for her - Help her put her jacket or coat on and zip it up for her - Brush her hair - Give her bows, pig tails, or anything else she needs to feel cute

Chore Time & Learning Time! ——————————————————– - Give her a routine - Set up a chore chart - Ask her to think if there was anything she forgot to do today - Help her with a difficult chore - Help her make a difficult choice, spell out the options of each - Ask her to put away her toys - Ask her to gather all her dirty clothes for you to wash - Remind her to say “Please” and “Thank you” - Ask her to count something. (How many apples do we have left? How many cars are there in line? How many fingers am I holding up?) - Ask her the color of something - Ask her to identify some basic shapes - Tell her to read you something easy - Ask her to spell something easy - Ask her to do basic math (1 animal cracker +2 raisins =?) - Ask her if she has any homework, if she needs help with her homework, or if she’s finished her homework

Meal Time! ——————————————————– - Handing her a sippy with a yummy drink - Handing her a bottle (ba-ba) - Tell her to keep both hands on her drink so she doesn’t spill - Put her in a bib before meals - Sitting her in a high chair or booster seat when practical is preferred - Remind her to wash her hands before a meal - Refilling her sippy for her so she doesn’t spill - Blowing on hot food - Cutting her food for her - Cut the icky crusts off her sandwiches - Feeding her her food - Airplane or other playfulness to make sure she eats her meal - When out to eat, ask for a kid’s menu (and crayons where applicable) - Wipe her mouth or hands off when she gets messy - Tell her to be a good girl and finish what’s on her plate - A sweet treat every now and then - Ask her to count one of her food items or tell you the color of different things on her plate - Telling her no sweets so she doesn’t ruin her next meal - Use dishes and silverware meant for toddlers. Plastic forks with dull prongs or plastic plates with cartoon designs on them are best

Play Time! ——————————————————– - Surprise trips to the park - Push her on the swing - Take her to play with puppies and kitties - Those little kid trips every Little dreams about (Disney World) - Sand castles at the beach, snow forts in snow, leaf piles in the fall - Kiddie pool out back on a hot summer day - Take her on a “themed” little date - Playing with her toys with her - Joining her in her tea party - Referring to her stuffies by name - Interacting with her stuffies as if they’re living - Remembering little stories or traits about her stuffies - Invite her to a surprise tea party with her stuffies and you - Puppet show! Or more likely an interactive story using her stuffies - Play pretend with her. Put yourself in the imaginary world she has chosen - Ask her about her imaginary friend - Let her play dress up with her clothes or your adult clothes - Color with her - Make her something while drawing or doing arts and crafts - Finger painting somewhere it’s okay to make a mess - Sidewalk chalk outdoors with her - Play little aged games (Candyland, for example) - Build her a blanket fort - Piggy back rides - Give her upsies! Toss her up and catch her (if practical) - Chase her around the room/house/yard - Suggest a movie meant for little ones - Watch cartoons with her - Play a cute 2 player game. Co-op, or competitive (but let her win once in awhile) - Sing-a-long songs. Have her sing them or dance - Have a play pen set up and/or the foam piece flooring set up in their main playing area

Bed Time! ——————————————————–

- Ask if shes ready for bed. “Bed-Time, Beddy Bye Time, Ni-Night time, etc” - Remind her to brush her teeth and go potty before bed - Dress her in her jammies and night-time diaper - Ask her which stuffie she wants to sleep with and put it in her arms - Find her favorite blanket, her “blankie” and give it to her - Tuck her in - Read bedtime stories - Make up a fairy tail story for her – Ask for her input in your made up story - Sing or hum her a lullaby - Ask her if she needs her night light, plug it in if she does - Check for monsters (closet, under bed, hallway) - Keep her safe from the dark, the thunderstorms, or the meanies in her life - Be her big spoon - Let her fall asleep on you - Goodnight texts when you’re not around - Be there for her if she has nightmares. Tell her everything is okay now that Daddy is here.

Important Things to Ask or Say! ——————————————————– - “Did you go potty?” “Do you need to go potty?” - “Do you need to be changed?” - “Did you go pee-pee?” “Did you make a mess?” - “Did you take your medicine like a big girl?” - “Be careful baby” - “Make sure you stay close to Daddy” - “You’re too little to do that!” - “Does baby need a hand?” - “Did you learn anything new today?” - “Do you need anything from Daddy?” - “Do you love Daddy?” - “What does my little girl want to do today?” - “Tell me everything about your day. I want to know!” - “Which veggie is the most icky?” - “Are you ticklish? Where is your most tickliest spot?” - “Are you scared of the dark?” - “Which Stuffie is the one to which you tell all your secrets?” - “Which dinosaur is best?” - “What shape do you want your (Sandwich, Pancakes, Cookies, etc.) in?” - “Where’s the best hiding spot for hide and seek?” - “Which drink is the bestest, most yummiest drink?” - “What color is your toothbrush?” - “What does baby want for her birthday?” - “Which snacks make you feel the Littlest?” - “Other than stuffies, what other Little toys do you have? Cars? Tea Set? a Red Wagon?” - “Remember we give puppies (or kitties) soft pets” - “We try and color inside the lines, don’t we baby girl?”

Punishment Time! ——————————————————– - If she’s not being good, tell her to behave herself - If she continues to misbehave, threaten a spanking - Make sure she doesn’t say inappropriate words - Make sure she doesn’t get into anything meant for adults; (babies get curious!) - Make sure she shares her toys and plays well with others - Put her in a nap if she’s fussy - Put her in time out if she’s being naughty - Make her say out loud why she’s being punished - Make her write lines outlining how she misbehaved - Use your stern daddy or mommy voice - Avoid yelling, shouting, or raising your voice if at all possible - If all else fails, over the knee spanking (diapered or bare bottomed)

Last, but not least,

YOU’RE HER WHOLE WORLD, and she needs to know that she is your whole world too!

Important things to remember when you are married or in a serious relationship:

Don’t ever assume your partner feels loved.

Date nights are a must.

Doesn’t matter if you go out, or stay in.

Talking openly about what you want to change in your relationship is important.

Learn each others love language.

We all don’t perceive love the same way.

Go to bed mad sometimes.

Don’t force a resolution.

Sleeping on it does help.

When you get into a fight, don’t just say “I’m sorry”. Say what you are sorry for, and how you will react differently next time.

It will get boring sometimes.

Every couple goes through the “boring” stage.

It’s normal.

It will fade.

This is the time in your relationship you will have to put the most effort in.

Some days you will have to pull more weight than your partner, and vice versa.

It’s important to check in on each other’s mental health.

It’s okay to go to couples counselling.

It helps.

It doesn’t mean you two are ending, or failing.

Talk about money.

Talk about your financial goals.

Let your partner know what you expect from them, and vice versa.

Turn off the phones an hour before bedtime and just talk to each other.

Ask questions like

“What do you need to see more of from me?”

“How can we understand each other better?”

And most importantly, be kind to each other.

Love each other.

Fight for each other.

Remember, love is never easy, and it’s one hell of a ride.

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 

generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies

just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone

at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 

thrift stores

everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you

you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.

do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem

you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 

if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.

never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.

15% tip. 

the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.

sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 

no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.

Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.

Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.

There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.

Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.

Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.

“The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.

MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.

Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.

DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)

If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.

Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.

If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.

Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.

You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.

Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 

Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.

KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.\

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced) 1 cup warm water (think a hot bath) 1 ½ teaspoons sugar 2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part) 2 ¼ cups flour 1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

If you can’t afford to tip 20%, you can’t afford to eat somewhere with servers

https://youtube.com/c/DadhowdoI

https://youtube.com/channel/UCVo2ns_7YaVzFYVX5JgV_uQ

The original source to this doesn’t exist anymore. (I have this a couple other of DwP’s posts saved away on my notes on my phone; I was too afraid to trust tumblr with them in drafts as we all know how well its other functionalities perform sometimes.) This is the post that made me cry the first time I read it and think - “I need this.” This is the post I sent to my husband tentatively, knowing it’s how we worked in spirit - but it wasn’t how we functioned at the time. This is the post that taught me things could be different - they could be better. I am forever grateful.

“It’s bedtime when I say it’s bedtime.”

“The last few months have been tough on our D/s dynamic. We’ve both been busy, and it’s easy to fall back into old habits. When I’m not around to take care of girl, I feel less entitled to make demands of her. When I feel less entitled, I make fewer rules. When there are fewer rules, girl becomes accustomed to making decisions for herself. Some of them are bad decisions. I blame myself. I withdraw. The cycle repeats. I’m not proud of it. It’s easy to write about this life—it’s much more difficult to actually live it.

Last week was a perfect example. I was on two deadlines, busy as hell, and I asked girl to do two things. Just two. She failed to do both. I don’t blame her; she’s submissive. She doesn’t respond to demands. She responds to rules and consequences. Boundaries and support. Control and protection. Asking girl to do something when there is no perceived consequence gives her no thrill of success, no satisfaction of having done the right thing. In other words, demands are empty.

Last weekend, I vowed to restore the balance. On Friday night, I pulled girl into my arms. “I haven’t been taking very good care of you,” I said. “No, it’s me,” she said. “I was supposed to cook and wash dishes.” “Hey,” I said. “I’m the one who sets the rules around here, and I’m the one who enforces them. If something goes wrong, it’s my responsibility. So, that changes as of right now. You’re going to be in bed by 11 all this week, and you’re going to cook and do the dishes when I ask, or I’m going to spank your ass.” She giggled. I put my hand on her ass. “I’m not kidding.” She stopped giggling.

That was all it took. All weekend, she was cooking, cleaning, doing dishes unasked, and bringing me another beer before I had asked for one. In short, she was behaving correctly. Being the wife I’ve always wanted, and have worked hard to support.

On a normal weekday, I get up hours before girl does, so her bedtime is often after I’ve gone to sleep. I sensed that something was up last night, so I set an alarm for five minutes before her bedtime. girl didn’t come to bed until 11:25. So, when she walked into the bedroom, I sat up, slid to the edge of the bed, and patted my lap. She groaned.

“I set bedtimes for your own good,” I said. “Don’t pretend I’m a tyrant. Now come here.” Her groan became a whine. It’s part of her brattiness—and I tolerate it. Some Dominants don’t, but I do. When girl is bratty or resistant, it’s simply an acknowledgment of my authority. She’s saying, “I don’t like this, but I’m submitting to it.” Frankly, it gets me kind of hot.

I took her over my knee, pinned her hands at the small of her back, hiked up her boy shorts, and spanked her ass once for every minute she was up past her bedtime. As I always do, I made her ask for the last two spanks. It’s my way of reminding her that she is complicit in her spanking. That, even though it’s unpleasant, it’s something she wants.

When I was finished, I fixed her panties and took her into my arms. We talked. We laughed. She was cuddly, warm, and compliant—in short, she was my girl again. She expressed gratitude—not for the spanking, I knew, but for the consistency. The support and authority I was standing up to provide. It wouldn’t have been the same if I hadn’t taken responsibility for the failures of the past month. I’m in charge—so I take the failures. But all the successes are hers.

Footnote: spanking girl arouses me beyond belief. I got almost NO sleep last night, because I went to bed unsatisfied. But I felt it was important not to sexualize this spanking. After a spanking, I almost always end up taking her—taking her very hard.This time, I just wanted her to feel safe, secure, and submissive, without the sexual undertones. I wanted to begin to reshape her emotional make up to remind her that not only can she rely on me, but that I’m in charge. That she is to defer to me. Trust me. Obey me.”

The parts that always resonate with me the most:

For one, this phrase - “If I cook and clean for someone, it’s because I want to, not because I’m going to be punished if I don’t.” - completely indicates you don’t understand the consensual side of power exchange. Because giving my husband that level of control IS “because I want to.” I don’t need to explain that to you anymore than I need to explain any other of my choices, but for some reason, you seem to negate my agency and the consensual nature of the dynamic and equate it with abuse.

For two, the consensual D/s relationship where one person submits to the guidance and leadership of a trusted other is nothing like “[needing] someone to make rules for them and give them bedtimes and require them to cook and clean.” If that’s what you get from it, then I understand your distaste. You’ve missed the heart of the consensual dynamic completely and leveled it into something you associate solely with abuse and sex. Which is unfortunate, because in its beauty, it’s simply asking the person you care and trust the most with your well-being to hold you accountable and to help you achieve your goals. At its core, it’s very committed, loving, and full of solid communication between the two involved - all the marks of healthy relationship.

“Kneel”

I’m washing the dishes but I turn to face him and drop to my knees, eager to obey though I don’t know what’s coming.

“Down”

In this position my lower body stays kneeling in place but my upper body moves downward to the floor. My palms are flat against it. My forehead rests beside his foot.

“Good. Stay.”

I can not see him but I know he’s leaving. I hear his footsteps elsewhere in the house. I ponder over what he might be doing. I wonder if he has forgotten that he has left me here helplessly bound by his command.

As I wait and wait I begin to let go of the whirlwind of thoughts I had been brooding over not 5 minutes earlier. The brooding is replaced with a sense of calm as my mind submits - catching up with my body. My focus turns to him and instead of fighting against the feeling of helplessness I lean into it. I remember I can trust him.

After what seems like a very long time he returns.

“Up” he says as he walks in.

I return to a kneeling up position and place my hands on my thighs. Cold metal against bare skin startles from behind. The lock clicks shut. He tugs at the chain firmly as though to check how strong, how unyielding it is. I breathe in sharply with satisfaction, recognising the familiar weight of his collar around my neck.

He walks a circle around me. His shoes come to rest in my line of sight.

“Why do I put this collar on you, girl?” He asks as he puts the key in his pocket.

“Because I am yours, Sir”

He kisses the top of my head and offers me his hand to help me to my feet.