Gayer than Anticipated @tigerose-25 - Tumblr Blog

"I am a demisexual biromantic Gemini, I've never made a decision in my God damn life"

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whatrealbeautylookslike

I love the casual substitution of "gods" instead of "god" in colloquial sayings. "oh my gods" "gods, my feet hurt" etc etc. like yeah deconstruct the societal standard of monotheism with me. let's party

fella-lovin-fella

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

spinejackel

I recently found my “gold” hammer after misplacing it. It’s my favorite tool ever because it looks like a regular hammer trying to be fancy,

but then you twist both halves and unscrew it to find a flat-head screwdriver in the middle.

BUT, if you twist the very end and unscrew that

you find a phillips screwdriver.

BUT DON’T THINK THAT’S ALL THERE IS! THERE’S MORE!! unscrew the very end again to find a smaller flat-head screwdriver!

BUT THAT’S STILL NOT THE END!!

unscrew the end of this screwdriver to find a final, teeny tiny, flat-head screwdriver

look at how cute it is!

it’s like a matryoshka doll of tools.

xeno-lalia

I have one of these and I keep it in my IT toolkit because that teeny little screwdriver is the right side for laptop casings, but because it lives inside a large object it’s harder to misplace than a standard tiny screwdriver. Also because the look on a client’s face when you bring out a brass hammer to fix their laptop is absolutely wild.

certified-silly-guy

LOCK IN LOCK IN LOCK IN.

joy-and-whimsy-official

But I don’t wanna…

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stitchyscarecrow

I miss joann's I would like to cry about it

me too.

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

universeleads

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

universeleads

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

overwhelmedfernfrond

I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”

So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid

venort

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

pterribledinosaurdrawings

how it feels to message a friend who's having Problems that you can't do anything to help with.

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mevil

tfw-adhd

meet-again

This is weird bevause ive had this exact thought before

wordsaremylife

Actually it really does help to paint the picture

slightlyrebelliouswriter23

"why don't you set an alarm to remind yourself to put your marbles in your bag?" i will fill your shoes with goo

april

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

gayluigi

ilyasvodka

has anyone drawn this with Shane & Ilya yet

princejeanot

Op the vision is hilarious, you win

I hate when friends breakup with partners you adore and meanwhile the partners you dont like are around forever (do I get it sure do what you gotta for your relationship, but I'm keeping them as a friend)

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lavenderprose

Things that are ACTUALLY in the Shane Hollander Mic'd Up compilation that we all wish we could watch through the portal:

- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."

- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."

- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."

- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"

- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."

- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"

- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."

- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"

- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"

- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."

- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."

- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"

- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."

- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."

- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."

- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."

- "Great goal. Great goal. Lyublyu tebya. Yes, baby, you did that."

0v9

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

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