(✿◠‿◠)

Keep salting the wound I'm close

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

girl it’s just a 3 day trip, you do not need to bring your terracotta warriors 🙄

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

FUCKKKKKKK what if something bad happened and I forgot to worry about it

I need to go rub one out. *goes to my secret chamber where the walls are covered in tally marks and I erase one mark* *it is unclear what happens when they run out*

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

My uncle can flutter jump like yoshi

He doesn't like to do it where people can see though. If you bring it up he gets all embarrassed.