Trout tickler

Morgan Freeman had his first breakout roles in his 50s. Leonard Cohen debuted at 33. Toni Morrison published her first novel at 39. Vera Wang entered fashion design at 40. Penelope Fitzgerald published her first novel at 58. Louise Gluck won her Nobel prize at age 77. Edward Said wrote Orientalism at age 42. Charles Bradley debuted with his first album at 62. Those people are literal legends, and no one would think they arrived late. They just arrived when they were ready. You have time to do the thing. You have time to hone your craft on the thing and create something you are truly proud of. You have time

women of the world unlearn your massive guilt complex 

I cannot tell you how extremely common it is for specifically women to feel guilty about pretty much existing, to feel that they are horrible people for every little thing they do, to feel the need to apologize for everything. 

And to those men that say choking can be done safely, well come here and be the one being choked by a pornsick male. You wouldn’t do it, because you know it is dangerous to lose even a little airflow and that it has long term damages. So stop with making women and girls do this and go to a clinic, because you just want to abuse others for personal pleasure and that is sickening

Damn, I don’t think women know how much that really hurts

Men act like they’re the only ones getting turned down for not being someone’s type

men will do literally anything other than engaging in pro-social community-oriented behavior and then get online and complain about how masculinity is vilified and men aren't allowed to be heroes anymore

"all men really want is to feel like the hero" okay then volunteer at a food bank. get narcan training. step in when a woman is being harassed on the street. help out an elderly neighbor with shopping or home repairs. learn how to safely de-escalate fights. help your friends move. join or start your workplace union. become a big brother or volunteer coach for kids' sports. clean up your local park or get involved in some local conservation campaign. do your own damn dishes. notice what needs to be done and then do it. the world doesn't need heroes, it needs helpers. there are literally so many paths to finding a sense of self-respect and worth through pro-social behaviors that improve your immediate local community and help build your network of close personal connections. but these guys don't give a shit about actually contributing anything to the world. they just want to whine and fantasize.

their inherent lack of self-respect is belied not only by the fact that they can't imagine doing anything that contributes to building a better, more resilient society, but how they can't imagine that doing so might involve a lot of small acts and choices and not one big act of heroism that gets them on the news as Big Man Of The Year.

seeing a male name credited on a book: Oh are we sure this 'm*n' wrote this book? Has anyone asked his wife what she was doing at the time?

It's not your job to manage other people's feelings. You do not have to anticipate other people's responses to you or their general mood in order to establish any sort of feeling of safety for yourself.

From what I can see, they're also treating the trades as the last bastion of professions that haven't been "invaded" by women and devalued in response to women's presence, so women should go into the trades too.

that comment about how you should not borrow grief from the future has saved me multiple times from spiraling into an inescapable state of anxiety. like every time i find myself thinking about how something in the future could go wrong i remember that comment and i think to myself: well i never know, it might get better. it might not even happen the way i think it will and if it does happen and it is sad and bad ill be sad about it then, when it happens. and it’s somehow soo freeing