fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this
Misplaced Lens Cap
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@thasmin-vibes
fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

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(opening my ribcage) and this is where i keep my hot stab of shame
once i get taken out back and shot i'll be fine
what do people without mental illnesses even think about
they were right btw. you have to dig yourself out of your grave over and over again

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This is literally my backyard. Except the back fence is in the way. And its a rental. I can still sit here and enjoy the views. But I would also love to get a nice outdoor chair and some fairy lights and make this my spot. If I can just get rid of the fence.
where's that picture that ruined my life
found it
this comic did the same thing
Mini Alecto rant because I think she’s one of the most compelling characters ever written and we don’t even know her that well yet.
We are first introduced to her as the Body in Harrow the ninth (I mean we knew about her before but I’m talking interactively) and she’s basically Harrow’s rock. She has this calm air about her that provides comfort to Harrow. She courts Harrow, has dinners with her where they talk about anything, and prays with her. She’s Harrow’s partner in crime when she agrees with her that Gideon Zero needs to die. She protects Harrow; instructing her to lie. She has no qualms about Harrow’s desperation for her and looks at Harrow with pity when she regrets it. She takes it as her personal duty to save Harrow’s body at the end of htn, performing cpr, because she truly does care about Harrow and that’s what I’m getting at here; she cares about Harrow a lot. She’s also calm, cool, and collected.
Yet all the remaining Lyctors (save for Pyrrha and Gideon) seem to hate her. A lot of them apparently didn’t like her. They call her a monster. Which is a sharp contrast from what we’ve seen so far, in terms of the Body’s likability. Not to mention that Harrow notices that the Body doesn’t seem too fond of John either when she catches her staring at him (god I love that scene where John drops his bag? on her lap and Alecto just keeps staring at him unmoved, I yearn for their story), so like, what happened between all of them? I know Alecto hates necromancy and Lyctorhood but why call her a monster? What did she do?
Then later, this piece of Alecto’s soul, the Body, enters Harrow to become Nona (why Alecto did that is yet to be revealed) and Nona is a stark contrast to it. She’s this bubbly, sunshine person who’s ditsy in an adorable way and who loves everyone and everything. So yeah, Alecto can also be bubbly. That’s until Nona starts remembering who she is. Who’s that you may ask? Oh yeah, the fucking soul of the Earth! I mean, what? Talk about an insane lore drop. She feels for planets when they are shit talked (New Rho, Drearburh) cause they are her family. Isn’t that crazy? She’s a planet. She’s THE planet. The life giving planet. She’s life itself. She’s God.
That’s when the coke starts hitting because she is the soul of the Earth and she was dying and she picked John to save her and that was how he repaid her? By putting her in a body she deems hideous (because she’s not really fond of human beings actually) after wounding her original body? Killing her siblings? Nona’s in the process of remembering all this and loses her sparkle. Nona the six month old. Alecto the 4.5 billion+ year old. Nona grows colder, both physically and mentally, as she remembers herself. She’s fucking disgusted by the state of things. She’s angry. She lets Pyrrha know this. She gets embarrassed. She cries. She’s the soul of the Earth and she’s six months old and she’s hurting and she’s aware she’s killing Harrow and she blames herself for everything; she just wants to die. She finally wants to let go. Look at what trying to hold on did to the universe, right? The bubbly, calm, caring soul of the Earth is also, disgusted, cold, righteously furious, depressed, and is currently a six month old baby having a panic attack while completely falling apart. She also laughs at butt jokes. Atp, your skin starts itching with the need to know more and more about her.
Then she wakes up after ten thousand years, still angry. Angry because John. Angry because she remembers everything she was, everything she could have been, what she is now. Angry as she sees Pyrrha and talks to her. Angry still, as her eyes land on Harrow. She remembers Harrow and something about her irritates, calms, and even pleases her. This being because she realizes Harrow (after biting her lips off) is a descendant of the one person who seems to bring her any sort of peace, a person she, the soul of the Earth, vowed her entire being to: Anastasia. Why is that? She makes the same vow to Harrow because of this fact. She’s unamused by Harrow’s self deprecation but pleased by Harrow’s strength. She forces Harrow to accept her vows despite subtly agreeing that Harrow is too lowly to receive them. Then there is the whole reunion with John where she nonchalantly swords him through the heart with Harrow draped above her other hand. What I’m trying to say is: Alecto is fucking cold, detached, bossy, and swaggy. Which is, yet again, an insane contrast to her other two personalities.
Not to mention she screams blood and flesh and the sound comes from every part of her body. All this while you sit with the fact that the Earth is a conscious being that is fully aware of herself, her skin, and her body; with the ability to grant godlike gifts to fucking randoms, who are also her. Plus she speaks in old english. That’s sick.
…
Tldr: The whiplash from seeing the caring and comforting Body and Nona also be the same cold, detached, angry Alecto is what captivates me. They all seem so completely different from the other but they are all her. I guess she’s responsible for creating 11 billion unique souls too so this isn’t hard for her but that idea alone is equally insane. The fact that she’s the soul of the Earth is insane. People don’t freak out enough about her character. She’s enthralling. I need the next book so bad it physically hurts.

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ianthe: harry can't POSSIBLY love you, nav; she lobotomized herself to forget about you! to love is to remember!
not five pages earlier: gideon waxing poetic about how harrow tenderly wrapped gideon's sunglasses (that harrow allegedly hated btw) and sealed them tightly in an envelope for eight months on the OFF CHANCE gideon came back in some way shape or form
gideon: yeah seems legit. i mean she didn't even seem happy when i died for her so like.
Here's a comic about the anthropomorphism of sperm cells. You're welcome.
Can we go back to suicide baiting Neil gaiman. I feel like we’ve lost sight of what’s important here, which is suicide baiting Neil gaiman. ‘This should have happened’ ‘that should have happened’ Wrong. Neil gaiman should have killed himself instead of being slowly and quietly brought back into the cultural consciousness by amazon and various comics publishers etc
This is literally my backyard. Except the back fence is in the way. And its a rental. I can still sit here and enjoy the views. But I would also love to get a nice outdoor chair and some fairy lights and make this my spot. If I can just get rid of the fence.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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exactly a year ago today, i walked into my local animal shelter with one goal in mind. being a self-confessed sucker, i had gone to the shelter’s website earlier in the week & identified the cat who had been there the longest — a black adult kitty whose stay was 3 1/2 months & counting — and i was not leaving without her
jiji, as i would come to name her, was finishing up ringworm treatment & was thus in isolation away from the other shelter cats. the staff informed me that while she was safe to be adopted out, their shelter policy was that she had to be the last cat i saw that day to avoid any risk of spreading the infection. i assured them that that wasn’t an issue for me — i was here for one cat and one cat only
they repeatedly asked if i was sure about this — i really didn’t at least want to look at any other cats?? my answer didn’t change. yes, i’m sure. i’m here for jiji. no one else.
and so after a bit of paperwork and some wrangling to get her into the cat carrier, jiji came home with me
i quickly learned, however, that the reason jiji had been at the shelter for over three months was that she was, to put it mildly, an asshole. she had been a stray for some time, given birth to kittens very young, and generally had had a rough go of it, so her disposition was understandable, but the fact remained. she was an asshole. upon our first meeting in the shelter, she grabbed onto my foot and started bunny kicking my shoe with gusto. she stole my food as i was eating it. she scratched me so frequently that a coworker noticed & expressed concern.
however, up until this point, i’ve left out a critical detail of the story. a year ago today, possessed by some sort of temporary cat-induced mania, i didn’t adopt one cat. i adopted two.
on the same day, from a totally different shelter, i also adopted a tiny little one eyed kitten named ramona. how i ended up with ramona is another story for another day — the important part is that she was very young and very small, and she joined my hardened stray in my postage stamp sized apartment approximately one hour later
i did my absolute best to follow the standard protocol for introducing cats to each other. i tried to keep ramona in my bedroom and jiji in the living room and to introduce them slowly
but the separation lasted about two days, however, because jiji, my asshole former street cat who viewed my limbs as her favorite scratching posts, took one look at this scruffy little one eyed thing, asked “is anyone going to be this kitten’s mom?”
and didn’t wait for an answer
The Tridentarii Twins✨
Unhealthy codependency, amirite?