¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

we cant talk here. pictochat. room c.

baseball fights are better than hockey fights because everyone expects a fight in hockey. baseball fights are some real hater shit

the pagan origins of the fourth of july

i'm sorry i didn't respond to your DM for 23 days. the number on the notification icon got really big and i began having irrational anxious thoughts such as "what if people are in there trying to contact me"

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

crossfaded on apple slices and peanut butter

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.