Whispers After Storms

As a present member who has been in and out of CoK & tEB from the very start, previously played a mediator's role between members, with constant run ins with the groups' authorities - considering I do what I want regardless of group rules if I see fit, still a fringe member with quite a varied stance and opinions on policies and currently on indefinite hiatus...

Please allow me to state my present opinion on this blog first and foremost before I carry on:

I find the existence of this quite upsetting. It contributes to my continued hiatus. I am not approving of its existence regardless of the validity of its stand.

While I understand you are trying to provide a platform for ex members with grievances, either perceived or true, especially to share experiences (so that they may not feel alone or wrongfully accused) and to perhaps provoke a change in policies via direct confrontation the same way a speaker's column in a forum would - and I can relate - it just feels to me that this is the same as what members or rather people in general do (more often on skype than on tumblr) where they seek a listening ear for how they feel about what happened. Only publicly. It is to me the equivalent of broadcasting extra drama.

Kind of like how instead of handling disagreements between two blogs or so via private asks, they are bickering all over their dash and making it a more stressful place on Tumblr for their followers. Though admittedly, this is a separate blog where people can choose to follow, it is still a blog dedicated to said argument... and is hurtful to affiliated blogs which are in general not related to said drama.

There is both truth and obscured backgrounds in the entries I have read here. It is my belief that everything should be as transparent as possible, but sometimes the real truth is far too long, too vague or too complicated to be explained simply, in a concise post. So:

If anyone requires further, more explicit or in depth explanations on the policies and interactions from the past to now (though I have NOT been actively present in this past year), please feel free to approach me.

Yes I am re-entering mediation for this and you can request for discussions to be either private or public. This is my own solitary action which I believe might not even be condoned by the group's policy (laugh). I have always been rogue anyway.

Either way, please know that my present stance is for defending the group I am in and that is how I will be presenting my explanations, as truthfully and unbiased as possible.

As for this blog and its entries...

It is my own opinion that every group has their own authorities and policies, dictated by the support of its own members. That is the purpose of a group. How it is run, is their collective choice. My own suggestions have both been implemented in the new system and overruled by majority authoritative choice and that is what I have to accept. If it is too unsuitable, however unfortunate or sad that may be, leaving is a perfectly acceptable choice, as is with most groups/clubs/friendships in life.

Trying to dictate a group's change while not being a member of it is... unreasonable.

There has also been mention of pressure, bad BDSM and (all the similar stuff I would group in this section) and while I say yes there is, it is also like any other group of friends and you have the ability, responsibility and choice to say no. Like in real life, there will always be persuasion because it is their wish that you join them in the same thing they enjoy and wish to share with you but one has to be able to stand up for yourself when you feel uncomfortable and that is never pleasant for anyone. I myself have said no a number of times to which it is eventually respected with no further pressure.

Also, how each member handles their own relationships is their own responsibility. A group cannot be held responsible for what each individual member or a clique of does - not a group like this I mean. They have no real legislative, economic or political power that can adversely affect a person's life. If you feel affected, then it should be the friendships that need reevaluation. As I have done.

For most part, though I remain a fringe member because I'm a boat load of strange issues, I do see that the group has improved, especially from the time of tEB. There is still room for improvement of course and a number of awkward kinks to work out. But any arguments from the tEB era should be ruled out and one should keep in mind that this is a group run by humans, normal people, with people issues and biases, not politicians or a potential government (lmao I'm bad at jokes okay).

This is where I will end, since I have gotten so longwinded trying to address everything as explicitly as possible while making it clear that this is my own personal stand and not the group's.

P.S. I personally verify that the group has been plagued by mock 'supportive' hate anons who devotedly follow certain members. They even (strangely) send hate to those members themselves. Some have been identified over time and 'driven away' but I sincerely doubt it is truly possible. It is entirely possible that they are also the culprits behind some of your hate anons.

I do hope you believe me on this, because I was a skeptic until I did the verification myself. It is hard to prove however, so you can only have my word for it.