You can ask me stuff, or just watch me post my meagre writings. Whatever floats your boat. You can even ask me to write stuff for you! Quality is strived for, and occasionally achieved. My writing is tagged with 'Thundertempest wrote a thing'
"Just tell me what you know, first," said Mark, "gossip travels, and I don't want you to get the wrong idea."
"The story I've heard," sighed Jessica, "is that you threw something at her, it knocked her on the temple, and she fell down the stairs."
"Look, there's a couple of things you're going to find out about me during this story, and I just want you to promise me that you'll hear me out before you judge me or run screaming into the night," said Mark, pacing up and down the room, "It's stuff that I would have preferred to not tell you until much later, but I guess that it's happening now."
"Look, just tell me the story, Mark. I need to know that you aren't going to fly into a rage or something."
"Okay," sighed Mark, "so we were fighting. Cass was a bit of a firebrand. Redheads, you know? It was one of the things I really liked about her. She was really passionate about everything she did, but man did she have a temper. I don't even remember what the fight was about; probably the dishes or something freakin' stupid. At first, it was just verbal, then someone threw something, and after that, it was on. She broke my favourite mug over my head, I slapped her in the face, back and forth like that for a good five minutes."
"Sounds unhealthy," said Jessica, "you sure you two actually liked each other?"
"This was the first time it had ever gone this far," said Mark, raising his hands in protest, "normally, we'd yell at each other for a while, then we'd find ourselves half-naked and tangled in the bed sheets. But anyway, I got a hold of a mug, and tossed it at her. She must have misjudged it, because she stepped right into it, lost her balance, and tumbled right down the steps behind you."
Jessica turned to look at the steps in question. They were quite steep, fairly narrow and made of hard wood.
"I don't know what happened, really. All I knew was that she was suddenly falling down the stairs, and when I got to the bottom, she wasn't moving, she wasn't breathing," said Mark, "so I called the ambulance, and they pronounced her dead. Snapped neck, skull fracture from falling down the stairs."
"So it was an accident?" said Jessica, and Mark nodded to confirm, "Neither of you was thinking straight, and everything just went wrong at the worst possible moment. Just talk things out with me, and we'll be fine, Mark."
Mark sighed, and paced around the room for a moment.
"There's actually one more part that I need to tell you," he said, "Everything I said was a lie. My friend Alice, you know, the paramedic? She's the one who helped me come up with all of that, because she was the first responder that night. That story I told you is the official story, and that's the story that I would really appreciate if you kept to in public."
"Mark?" began Jessica, but Mark waved her into silence.
"Me and Cass weren't fighting when she died. She didn't fall down the stairs. She died in bed, peacefully, painlessly. She died from bloodloss. The thing is, Jessica, is that I'm a vampire."
"What?"
"Cass knew I was a vampire - she was my food source, and that day, the addiction of blood just got to me. I hadn't fed for a while - she'd been out of the country, slightly longer than I expected, and Alice, by the way, she's also a vampire, couldn't get access to the blood bank to get some emergancy supplies for me, so when Cass finally came home, I physically couldn't stop myself until I'd drained her completely dry. So Alice and I made it look like we'd had an argument, that Cass had fallen down the stairs and died. The two puncture marks on her neck never got logged in the injury report."
For a while, Jessica sat there in silence.
"Jessica? Are you okay?" said Mark, waving a hand in front of her face, and snapping his fingers a few times.
Jessica blinked, stood up, and then bolted out of the house, screaming about vampires. Mark suppressed a sigh, before pulling out a phone and dialing a number.
"Yeah, Alice? It's Mark. Jessica didn't take it too well. She might need an ambulance ride and a nice padded room, and I might need a new girlfriend."
------
Written for Friday night Fights for @Promptsforthestrugglingsauthor on 13/5/2020
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Written for @promptsforthestrugglingauthor Friday Night Fights.
There were always tales, of course. Stretching as far back as the original founding of the city, probably. About the evil witch who lived out in the woods, cursing and entrapping anyone who dared to venture too deep into the forest. It had probably started as a way to make children behave.
'Don't go into the woods near sundown, or the witch will eat you!' Naturally, in those sorts of tales, there was never really a witch, but wolves and bears were just as happy to snack on clueless kids as they were deer if they were hungry enough.
But still, the sheer insistence that I could remember my grandmother in particular having, that there really was a witch in the forest had gotten me curious, and so, smartphone in hand, a little bit of food and water in my backpack, and a camera strapped to my chest, I set off on Saturday morning. If nothing else, it would be a nice escape from the hustle of the city.
At first, the walk was pleasant enough. The weather was just right, and the light filtering through the canopy overhead got me some really nice photos on my phone.
Then as any semblance of path finally disappeared from the ground, my foot caught on a tree root, and I went face first into the dirt. When I managed to pull my face out of the soil, there was a small fox staring quizzically at me.
"Hey there, little guy," I said, pushing myself back up onto my knees, "did I disturb your home?"
The fox sat back onto its hind legs, almost like it was imitating me, but never broke its stare. With as much care as I could, I pulled my backpack off my shoulder, and opened it up, pulling out one of the grain bars I'd packed, and broke a section off, holding it out in my hand towards the little red fox. It just continued its staring until I held out the larger section of the grain bar, and took a bite of it myself. Then, and only then, did the fox nip the peice out of my hand, and scurry off into the trees.
"Must have smelled the food on me or something," I mused to myself, as I stood back up, brushing the leaves and dirt off the front of my clothes, and picked my smartphone back up, only to find that it was no longer showing the map that I'd been using.
Well, that was a simple enough fix. Just needed to reopen the page and...
No connection.
"Oh, come on, I had data thirty seconds ago, don't you pull this horror movie shit on me now."
A few moments of waving my phone around in the air, and I had signal again, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I pulled the map back up, and set off, deeper and deeper into the forest.
Several hours later, and the atmosphere had gotten noticeably colder. The canopy had gone from fairly open to completely covering the sky now, and with that came a drop in temperature, though it was still a pleasant enough atmosphere, as long as I kept moving.
The sound of running water broke my train of thought for a moment, and I remembered that I hadn't had anything to drink in a while. I dug my water bottle out of my pack, and gulped about half of it down, and decided to see if I could find the stream that I could hear.
It didn't take long before I stumbled across it, almost literally. I barely caught my footing on the bank of the stream. I knelt down, and dipped my bottle into it, it burbling as it filled up. A snap of a twig whipped my head up, and a growl sounded behind me.
As slowly as I could manage, I turned my head, and right behind me was a wolf, much bigger than any that I'd ever seen. It didn't seem to be moving to attack, so again, moving as slowly as I could, got back on my feet and began to back away. A hop and a skip took me over the stream, but still the wolf didn't make a move to attack, but continued to growl. I took one step up stream, and the wolf's growling increased.
'Must have its den in that direction,' I thought to myself, but just to confirm, I took a step down stream, and the wolf's growling decreased in volume.
Another step, then two, and the wolf was content to simply stand there and glare at me.
As fast as I dared, I headed downstream, firstly just hurried walking, but eventually breaking out into a full run, trying to leave the wolf as far behind me as I could.
------
It was only once I noticed that the ground underneath my feet had changed from loose, grassy soil to hard-packed earth that I stopped running. I had found a path, and a check from my phone revealed that I was quite deep in the woods. I glanced around, and began to follow the path, which lead alongside the stream that I'd been running besides. A few moments later, the path put me at the doorstep to an old, partially overgrown log cabin. A small water wheel rested in what was now a small river, slowly turning. Maybe it was some weird nature retreat or something. I still wasn't convinced that there was an evil witch feeding on the souls of wandering people out here, but I made sure that the camera on my chest was still recording, and knocked on the door.
For a moment, nothing happened, then there was a slight shuffle, and the door creaked open slightly.
"Who's there?" croaked a voice that sounded like my chain-smoking aunt's if she'd lived to be a thousand years old.
"Hi," I said, still slightly out of breath from my flight from the wolf, "I was wondering if I could stay with you for the night. I was out hiking, and then I had to run from this wolf, and I don't want to make the trek back in the dark."
The forest had only grown darker and colder as the day had progressed. I couldn't really see the sun, but my phone was getting low on battery, and the clock was telling me that it was about seven at night right now.
"Of course," croaked the woman, "I think I can spare a room for you for a night."
"I'm happy to pay you if you want, or help out or something if you need it."
"Oh, I think I can think of something for you to help me with," said the old woman, opening the door fully. The inside of the cottage looked almost exactly what I would imagine a witch's cottage would look like. Herbs and plants that I couldn't even begin to identify littered every single surface, the shelves around the room were packed full of books. The only thing missing was a big cauldron, but there was only a wood-fired stove.
The old woman shuffled through a door, and came back after a moment, beckoning me to follow her.
"You can sleep in here for the night," said the woman, "and I'll get your help with a few tasks in the morning."
"Thank you very much," I said, my mouth stretching out into a yawn. Guess running from that wolf had taken more out of me than I'd thought. I was asleep basically the second I hit the slightly scratchy matress.
------
The chanting was what woke me up, and I suddenly found that I couldn't move. Glowing red symbols lit up the room around me, and the old woman was at the end of the bed.
"What are you-?" I managed, before the sheets animated themselves, and stuffed one end into my mouth.
"I wondered when one of the newer generations would get curious about the legends," said the woman, her voice suddenly much stronger than it had been previously. "The forest has enough innate magic for me to sustain myself on nearly indefinitely, but not enough to stop me degrading into this decreipt husk. Fortunately, you are just the right kind of person."
I struggled against the sheets, but to no avail as the witch pulled out a knife, and made her way up to my side.
"You see, I've been watching you, judging you. You're trusting enough to share food with a fox, and not for an instant think that it was anything but a fox, and gullible enough that a simple illusion of a wolf could fool you into running straight to my cabin. You are, in short, the perfect person for this little ritual."
The sheets retracted from my mouth for a moment.
"Why are you doing this?"
"You've heard the stories, I trust? About the evil, terrible witch who lives alone in the forest, taking anyone who lingers too long in her domain? I am pleased to tell you that all of those stories are true, little one, and now you're going to help me keep them alive. Sadly for you, you'll have to die for that to happen, but I'll use your lifeforce to keep me healthy for a good century or so."
"I could keep you company!" I blurted out, "it must get lonely out here, by yourself. Must want someone to talk to every now and again, right?"
"Ah, you're bargaining, I see," said the witch, "but unfortunately for you, I'm rather stubborn. Farewell, child."
And with that, the knife thrust down, and my last sensation was a sharp pain, and something being sucked out of my body.
So, i’ve been playing Zelda: Breath of the Wild recently, because I got a bit of a bonus recently, so I picked up a Switch and a few games (mostly while waiting for Doom Eternal to come out). And well...
I don’t particularly like it.
Before you declare your undying hatred for me over that statement, allow me to try and justify my position.
Firstly, I did deeply enjoy both Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword on the Wii, though I did find Skyward Sword’s motion controls awkward and clumsy at times.
And there are parts of Breath of the Wild that I do like. It’s a very pretty game. Everything feels well designed, well art directed. The shrine puzzles are pretty great at making you think about your solutions, and general exploration is pretty great too. The music’s decent for the most part, and while the story is the same reskinned story that Zelda always tells, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because the whole conceit in the Legend of Zelda games is that Link, Zelda and Ganon always end up facing each other thoughout the history of Hyrule, like some Sysiphean prophecy.
But, the biggest reason that I’m not enjoying Breath of the Wild is the combat. The fucking combat. Because Breath of the Wild has a weapon degradation system, so that after a certain number of hits, every weapon breaks, and you have to switch to a new one. This would be fine if there was a decent supply of half-decent weapons, but there isn’t. Early game, you are stuck using tree branches and shitty spears, which do little to no damage, so you just feel like you aren’t ever getting anywhere with combat, which in turn, at least for me, makes it feel like a slog to get through.
I also feel like the controls on the Switch are just not precise enough for how the game wants you to fight. There is a distinct ‘Souls-like’ approach to combat, in that it emphasises parrying and dodging, but the number of times that I’ve gone to dodge an attack and the controls have just not responded has lead to more than one death. There is a location that does sort of teach you how to use these, but the game makes no effort to point this out to the player. There was a shrine that I found early on that was a combat challenge, shortly after I finally found the shrine that actually teaches you how to fight, so I entered, hoping to refine my skill a little. That was when the weapon degradation hit me hard. My best weapon broke when I’d just gotten the enemy down to half health, and the only things I had left were torches, which also quickly broke. Nevertheless, for half an hour of repeated attempts, dying over and over again, I eventually got the miniboss down to nearly dead...at which point it pulled out a move that I had no way of countering, and promptly killed me in one shot, and I nearly embedded the joy-cons into the wall. Combat feels like a chore in this game to me. I dread it every time it happens. At this point, I don’t really feel like trying to learn the (presumably) decent combat system because combat just feels so bad to me already - (I’m probably about ten to fifteen hours in at this point.)
Furthermore, there is a distinct lack of tutorials in the game. The on-screen button prompts do do a decent job of letting you know what you can do, which is nice, but there are a number of things that are just not fucking explained that really should be. For instance, I needed to make a campfire, so I could use the fire to burn down something to get access to another shrine. I had wood, and flint, which the game informed me that I would need to start a fire. The entirety of the hint I got was ‘Use the flint near the wood’. I looked through every menu I could before eventually resorting to Google. What I was supposed to do was put the wood and the flint down on the ground, then hit the flint with a metal weapon.
That would have been helpful to know before I broke my last metal weapon on the last nearby enemy’s face so the bastard would stop one-shotting me with arrows before I could set up the campfire.
Other random bullshit that is rapidly turning me off this game includes the stamina system. While you’re on land, it’s fine, but it can fuck right off when it comes to swimming. There was an island in a river I wanted to get to, so I thought, ‘hey, I’ll swim across’, only for my stamina to run out when I was one bodylength from the shore line of the island I wanted to reach, and I drowned and died, and lost ten minutes of progress, because Nintendo thought that it would be a good idea to have your ability to swim tied to your stamina. No stamina? You drown instantly.
Part of me thinks that maybe I just don’t like it, but I’ve played a few Souls-inspired games with similar combat systems as Breath of the Wild, and had a blast with them, so I also don’t think that this is just me being all ‘I don’t liek the genre so therefore it’s bad’. For many reasons, Breath of the Wild is just more frustrating than rewarding. If the weapon degradation wasn’t there, this would be a much more enjoyable game, and I’m willing to say that that fucking system is probably the source of most of my frustrations with this game.
Maybe I’ll start over, try again from scratch and see if that improves the experience, now that I have some of that knowledge.
@bookishdelight @bunnikkila @kaikaku @anyone (of proper age to hear some Foul Language x3) who has ever enjoyed this show in any capacity whatsoever: this is a must watch
The ceiling crashed down, the pieces of rubble disintegrating into dust before they hit the people huddled on the bank floor.
"You absolute fuckknuckle. What the fuck are you doing?" said Exo, his feet slamming onto the floor, cracking the marble.
"Robbing a bank, Exo," said Ember, turning her head to look at the villain just as a mechanically-enhanced punch slammed into her face.
"I told you," said Exo, as Ember picked herself out of the wall, "There are only two reasons to rob a bank, and you certainly don't start with banks. You only rob banks if you need the cash, or you're out for attention. You want neither at this stage."
"I thought the point was to make a name for myself," said Ember, fire wreathing her fists as she stalked towards the older villain.
"Making a name for yourself is not the same thing as getting attention. You need to start small," growled Exo, the wrist-mounted cannons attached to his exoskeleton switching on, and he sprayed Ember with a thick foam that quickly hardened, trapping her and extinguishing her flame at the same time. The faint sound of muffled swearing emanated from the foam.
"I am sorry for thhe inconvenience," said Exo, turning to the group of huddled hostages, "I'll have her out of here in just a moment. I hope that she didn't cause you any excess harm." Exo cocked his head to the side for a moment, and then a set of ropes dropped through the hole that he'd made in the roof. One he secured around the frozen form of Ember , and the other he hooked onto his exoskeleton, and then gave both a tug.
"What about us?" said one of the goons, loosely holding his gun.
"I would suggest running. If you don't get picked up by the cops, and I can beat some actual fucking sense into this fuckknuckle here," said Exo, jabbing Ember, provoking a fresh round of swearing from the foam, "Then we'll probably have some work for you. Keep an ear out."
Exo tugged on the lines once more, and they hoisted both forms out through the roof. There was a roar of a jet engine, and then silence.
"Right, where's the back door?" said the same goon.
"Down the corridor, past the break room." said one of the cashiers, "Takes you out to a parking lot for employees.
"Right, boys, let's get outta here!" said the apparent head goon, cutting the ties holding the cashier who had spoken.
"You get everyone else out. Hope you've got super-villain insurance," he said, and then bailed out after the other criminals.
-----------
From an as-yet unnamed supervillain idea that’s been rattling around in my brain for the last few days.
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Your girlfriend wants you to meet her dad. You get a sinking feeling in your stomach when she pulls into the cemetery. She leads you to a large crypt and pulls you inside. You descend into the depths, only to find a library and a large skeleton sitting by a fireplace, reading a book.
There’s a chill in the air, despite the fact that it’s a fairly warm summer’s night, and there’s a fire not three meters away.
“So, you’re the one that my little Abigail’s been going on about recently.” The skeleton closes the book he’s reading, and I can hear something scream in the distance.
“Yes, sir,” I manage to eke out, looking around. Abigail’s vanished into another room in the crypt, though I can still hear her humming that tune she always does when she decided to make dinner.
“You will have to forgive my appearance. I understand that it is off-putting to most people. I could put on a cloak, if that would help,” said the skeleton.
“No, I’m fine,” I say “It’s just a bit of a shock. I wasn’t expecting to meet an animated skeleton tonight, though.”
“Are you not an animated skeleton, though?” he said, “Covered with more flesh and sinew than I, yes, but you still have a skeleton within you.”
“I...guess so?” I said, “I’d never really thought about it like that. Most humans don’t seem to think about things like that on a regular basis, though.”
Despite not having any facial expressions, Abigail’s father somehow managed to look immensely pleased with himself.
“Dad, where do you keep the sage?” called Abigail from the other room.
“Fresh, dried or crushed?” called back the skeleton.
“Fresh, dad.”
“Third pot plant from the right, second row.”
“Thanks,” said Abigail, resuming her humming. There was a moment of silence between myself and Abigail’s father.
“So...Nice weather we’re having, right?” I said, and the skeleton sighed.
“You want to know how I ended up as a skeleton? And how am I talking to you?”
“Yes,” I said, probably a little too quickly, but the skeleton just laughed.
“A common enough question. Necromancy runs in the family line. It was a reasonably trivial matter to sustain myself through the car accident, and then pretend to be dead during the funeral. It has put something of a damper on my social life, though. Abigail herself is quite talented, though she does prefer the alchemical side of it. Gets it from her mother, you know.”
“Her mother?”
“Yes. Unfortunately passed on years ago, and made me promise to not ressurect her. Such a feirce woman. Could brew a potion for anything with her eyes closed.”
“I’m sorry that you had to lose her.” I said.
“Lose her?” the skeleton said with a bark of laughter, “She came right back to tell me that I couldn’t brew a potion for the life of me. Honey, Abigail’s brought her ‘friend’ around!”
Abigail’s humming was briefly interrupted by a groan, and then a ghostly woman floated through the walls of the crypt.
“Oh, hello dear,” said the ghost, giving the skeleton the best approximation of a kiss on the cheek that a ghost could give to a skeleton. I just smiled politely as best I could.
--------
I finished off my cup of tea, while Abigail and her mother were chatting about potions in another room, once more leaving me alone with Abigail’s father.
“So, how did you meet my daughter?” he asked, setting his own empty cup down, tea dripping down his ribcage.
“We met at university. We had the same Human biology course. We got to talking between classes, and it eventually snowballed from there.”
“So now,” said the skeleton, “Is the part where I’m supposed to be the stern father figure, and intimate harm upon you should you ever intentionally hurt my daughter.”
“I guess so,” I said, “She’s my first girlfriend, so I can’t promise that I know what to do, but I’ll try to do right by her and by you.”
“Don’t worry about me,” said the skeleton, “as long as you do right by her, and she’s happy, you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Oh, great,” I sighed,my face spreading into a smile, “I was really worried for a second there.”
“Oh, about what?”
“Doing this.” My smile spread wider, and wider, and for a moment, I closed my eyes.
Then I opened all of them, and my mouths opened wide.
Abigail waved goodbye to her mother, who had accompanied us to the door, as the moor rose fully into the night sky.
“Well, that went better than I thought. I honestly didn’t think my dad would approve of someone not magical,” said Abigail, as we left the cemetary.
“I think that we came to an understanding. He’s just a little set in his ways, I think. It’s easy to see where he’s coming from. For a long time, your community must have had to keep itself hidden, or risk death.”
Abigail leaned up and pecked me on the cheek.
“I swear, everyone seems to get along with you. You will have to tell me how you do that one day.”
“The secrets behind popularity are not for mortal minds to know,” I said, and we both shared a laugh.
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Celestia looked up at the top of the Student's Tower, at the light shining out of the windows. She watched as the light flickered and died, and her keen ears picked out the soft click of the door closing, and the equally soft clip-clop of hooves coming down the ramp.
"How is she, Star?" asked Princess Celestia, once the pony reached the bottom of the ramp.
"Princess Celestia!" exclaimed North Star, the pony who was in charge of Student Care and Admissions at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. She threw herself into a bow before the ruling princess. Princess Celestia sighed to herself, and gestured for the unicorn to rise.
"I've told you before, Star, there is no need for you to bow to me every single time. This is an informal check up. I want to know how my student is doing, specifially outside of her classes."
"She's...driven," said Star, falling into step besides the princess as Celestia headed back towards the palace.
"You say that like it is not a good thing," said Celestia.
"Because I don't believe that it is in this case. She's pushing herself. Twice in the last month I've found her sleeping at her desk, nearly drooling on her books. Most of the time, her lamp burns late into the night, far later than tonight," said Star, "have you assigned her a specific task?"
"Not beyond the usual. She burns through the work I assign her with little trouble."
"She's been dipping further and further into the Archives, and into the more dangerous magics."
"Is she hurting anypony?" asked Celestia, "showing signs of a break?"
Star pondered for a moment, before shaking her head.
"No, Princess. But I am concerned. Sunset is young, powerful and very driven. She is clearly pushing herself in order to accomplish some task, perhaps hoping to impress you."
"How so, Star?"
"Sunset has, at least to me, expressed some dissatisfaction that you are not teaching her all that you know. Perhaps instruction in something more advanced will curb her behaviour somewhat," said Star
"And it may exacerbate it, " mused Celestia, "I have seen her type before - she wants to be the best, and while not strictly a bad motivator, it can lead to bad places."
"I did not mean to criticise you, Princess," began Star, but Princess Celestia cut her off as the two reached the gates of the School for Gifted Unicorns.
"It is quite alright, Star. I will consider your advice before my next lesson with Sunset, and I will try to discuss some of this with her. Now, I believe that it is past both of our bedtimes. Goodnight, North Star," said Princess Celestia, with a quick bow of her head.
"Goodnight, Princess Celestia," replied North Star. Princess Celestia took to wing, soaring back in the direction of her chambers in the castle, sparing a glance back at the dark windows of the Student's Tower, and seeing a faint glow through them. Clearly, Sunset had simply just switched to reading under the covers the minute North Star had left, and Princess Celestia made up her mind.
Perhaps Sunset Shimmer did need something more challenging to keep her occupied.
