:-)

winter break is going to be so so lonely

i said goodbye to the person i love today and it may be the last time i ever see them. i thought i’d cry the whole drive home but oddly enough i haven’t shed one tear since i left. i feel okay. i don’t think it’s the end. it can’t be

so much has changed but i think i need another one. i need to get out of here and explore before i go crazy in the same routine.

also i just read thru all my old personal posts and realized how much better my life has gotten even tho i rarely post and when i do they're usually not super happy posts but it's just crazy to see how much better i've gotten with my illness and life in general

i'm scared. this is the worst i have felt in a very long time. i got a stomach bug from my mom(one of my biggest fears) and ended up throwing up 3 times. My pots first started two days after i threw up for the first time since i was a child. i don't want to go back. i can't go back. i'm so close to so many things i have waited a lifetime for that i can't have it ruined. i pushed myself so hard to get where i am and now because of a stupid stomach bug, it might be ruined. i know i could just need fluids but i'm literally struggling to walk to the bathroom without collapsing. i'm so scared. please pray for me

so it's currently midnight and by surprise tonight I found out I'm not allowed to eat until my wisdom teeth surgery at 2pm. I was supposed to only have to go 6 hours but now it's 14. :))) anywho the real test will be can I make it without fainting, because currently I can go about 3 hours without eating without feeling lightheaded or nauseous soo that's great. also I don't function without breakfast so lord knows how that's gonna turn out. now I'm going to sleep until 9:30 bc I have to take my meds before I have to stop drinking(!!im legit gonna have a panic attack bc I do not remember the last time I didn't have a water bottle on me and now I'm gonna like not be allowed to drink for hours yikes yikes) wish me luck and pray this whole thing does not go terribly wrong

Me: Someone find me a dictionary STAT

So I just learned that I’m going to get my wisdom teeth out which requires anesthesia which I have never had experience with before. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with if/how anesthesia reacts with pots and what I could do to make this go as smoothly as possible, thanks!!