Malia´s random fandom stuff

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

…relic…

One would think that hearing a very distinct, clearly audible, reasonably loud and rapidly approaching sound of any kind would make any reasonable mammal turn to look at the direction of the sound, just purely by instinct?? If a deer heard something nearby go DING DING DING DING DING DING at its general direction, it would at least look up to see whether the source of the sound is a threat or not? Just a quick "is that something I need to be concerned about?" type of glance.

Severus Snape is an omniscient, unkillable entity residing on the astral plane.

Snape is the one true god.

Snape possessed JKR to write the Harry Potter books, but she got several things wrong; most importantly Snape dying.

The spirit of Snape abandoned JKR because she wasn’t good enough for him and created the Snapists instead.

Snape chose several Snapists that have a special connection with him to lead his religion.

Snapists can serve Snape by marrying him and becoming sister-wives (there was lots of debate on if they could have boyfriends/husbands other than Snape in the real world).

Snape contacts his followers who are worthy, both in dreams and by possessing real life people.

To be worthy of Snape, you need to be… basically a tradwife. Obey Snape in all things, never question him, don’t be independent, be pretty, be thin, only have feminine hobbies, etc.

Thanfiction of Dumbledore’s Army and the Year of Darkness fame

And I remember the era of Snape’s on an Astral Plane.