It has become a nightly routine now that whenever I go into the bathroom to get ready for bed, my boy MUST be carried around to inspect the ceiling on my head or on my shoulders, and MUST attempt to sit on the shower curtain rod, rub his cheeks on the shower head, and climb on top of the door.
Normally I keep the door steady and he waits for me to prepare a safe landing before getting on the door.
TODAY my darling son decided that he was perfectly capable of sitting on the door WITHOUT ME, and predictably lost his balance almost immediately as the hinge swivelled. Who could have predicted this
Watching my son begin to slip, I mode under him, and was thankfully able to catch him with my hands over my head
After realizing he is in fact still but a mere mortal, my precious little boy decided that he was done being Up and would very much like to be Down now
Normally this would be a great time for him to scamper down to sit on my shoulder, from where it would not be difficult to jump onto the counter
I saw him decide to do this with just enough time to know that he would fail, as my shoulder would not be there with my hands above my head
I could not lower him, as he still had one back leg on the wrong side of the door, and forcing the movement before he was ready might very well overextend a ligament
In the sort of split second moment with which a dying man sees his life flash before his eyes, I ran through every calculation my mind could conjure
There was, I accepted, only one acceptable solution which assured minimal harm to both parties involved
I let him springboard off of my face
After affirming that he was okay, I inspected myself and found a single small but surprisingly deep scratch along the side of my head
[this will scar. I have many scars already. Iâve already decided that this one will be my favourite.]
Once calm, Ollie then begged me to turn on the shower for him
I figured I had to clean the cut anyways. Why the hell not
I let my lovely little. Ollie sit on my shoulder in the shower like an asinine black parrot and watched him go apeshit
Unfortunately I did eventually have to put him down in his tub chair so I could actually get clean
He sat there soaking wet with his big wide baby eyes and cried to be let back in
I gave up after a minute, rinsed off the soap, and brought him back in to continue swatting at the spray
After, he refused to let me help dry him off, crying pitifully whenever I touched him with my towel
He is licking his toes dry by my bed
Image Attached: Big Wet Baby Who Promises To Behave Himself This Time, Please Please Please Please Please
