Through a Meteor Rock Darkly

Also, the dialogue gets marginally better in Season 3 because a bunch of ex-Buffy people joined the writing/production staff.

Now the hot kid from the first season of Desperate Housewives has made Kryptonite bullets and dressed up like if David Bowie was a commando to shoot Clark.

Other Character: ::Asks Clark a question or makes a suggestion:: Clark Kent: ::Winning smile:: Other Character: "Uhh... this situation calls for an actual response." Clark: ::Winning smiles harder::

When you shoot the pilot fighting your new wife for a handgun and have to learn to fly a plane real quick.

Wait... when did Lex get OFF the island? 

Wait... when did Lex Luthor get trapped on an island?

When the weird scar your spaceship gave you tries to burn the Red Kryptonite out of your bloodstream, but you decided you hate your moral compass, so you just scream and grip your ring a lot.

Don't trust Morgan Edge, Dark Clark! He's a replicant!

"Hey, Chloe. Sorry Clark doesn't like you. Want to be evil now?" -Lionel Luthor, paraphrased.

And now Red Kryptonite is finally revealed as a thinly veiled metaphor for Drugs (TM).

Not only does Lana Lang run a business and go to high school, she also has to hand-write place cards for Lex Luthor’s wedding?

"Tell me what's in your secret room, Lex!" -Doctor Girlfriend, Smallville edition "Uh, well, see... there's this high school boy I'm obsessed with... I'll just show you." -Lex Luthor ::opens door to room covered in pictures of Clark Kent with a computer that constantly runs a simulation of the fateful car wreck where they met on a loop:: "No, this is a completely normal and legitimate use of your time and resources." -Doctor Girlfriend

Wah! I don't want to conquer the earth, Dad! Conquering is bad, mmkay.

Aw, come on, Christopher Reeve. Don't add your super legitimacy to this not super show.

When the key to your spaceship won't stop screaming until you put it in that cave wall.

I can tell it's still Smallville from the low production value and clichés around every corner, but what the hell is a gunfight in a casino doing on this show?

You could easily drink every time they crash and/or blow up a car on this show. Drink twice when they crash a car and then blow it up.