Thoughts in Thimbles

I read about Anthony Trollope (1815-1822), likely one of the most productive novelists of all time. 

He devoted 5-8 AM every morning to writing at 250 words every 15 minutes. 

This makes me think of a few things: 

The power of getting your rhythm right 

Non-fiction can’t hold a pace like that (need to think and synthesize)

One day I’ll write a book. In the meantime, I’m collecting my learnings and thoughts from the books that I read. 

I’m exploring the Zettelkasten Method.

Current Setup: 

Read: Kindle + Hardcopy Books

Notes: reMarkable Tablet

Slipbox et al: Roam

A friend compared me to a deep pool once. 

She surmised that there are interesting things in the depths, but unless someone inadvertently bumps into something and surfaces it, it’s difficult to see what is there. 

An eloquent way to say that I don’t talk much and don’t give much a way. Fair point. 

I found myself giving this same feedback to a colleague recently, asking him not to change what or how he said things, but rather be proactive in surfacing it in team meetings. 

I haven’t figured this out for myself yet, maybe it was unfair to ask it of him. Maybe I’ll learn from him.

Maybe these help... 

Journalling?

Writing projects? (like this one)

Zettelkasten method? 

Just talking more? 

Empathy? 

Inversion? 

Talking out loud? 

I’ve been seeking out the philosophy of the well lived. I crave steadiness, purpose, some kind of shelter from the turbulence. 

My reasoned choice is as indifferent to the reasoned choice of my neighbour, as to his breath and body. However much we’ve been made for cooperation, the ruling reason in each of us is a master of his own affairs. If this weren’t the case, the evil in someone else could become my harm, and God didn’t mean for someone to control my misfortune. 

                                                             - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8,56

When I was reflecting on this passage I gravitated to the word reasoned and not indifferent. I expected indifferent, it sounds pleasing, protected. 

My understanding is that reasoned is not a substitute for reasonable, it just implies thought. However, I imparted my own idea of measure to reasoned. Idealistically believing that this means thinking clearly before acting. 

Behavioural economics is against me here and if I follow this through to my conclusion it ends up feeling distinctly paternal.  I.e.  if someone was not reasoned in their choice, I am just in acting against them. 

This logic fails me. I’m back where I started. Indifference is better. Even if moved to act, it implies impartiality.

I read Lifeboat No. 8 over the weekend. It told the story of the Countess of Rothes. She was portrayed as a rather exemplary woman; embodying both grace and fortitude. 

She demonstrated muster, skill, courage and utility at the sinking of the Titanic, and after during the return journey on the Carpathia. Despite this, she was unable to convince her fellows in the lifeboat to return to the wreckage to search for survivors. 

Her grandson dubbed this “the greatest sadness of her life”. 

It is impossible to know with certainty, how she felt about this experience as time went on and if she still felt it as a personal failing into her twilight years. 

I’m reflecting on this for the dichotomy of two truths: 

The fight of the moment can be quickly forgotten, even 6 months later when we look back on an experience. I.e. a really challenging time with work before my holidays seems already distant. 

Somethings seem to persist over time, some wounds or losses seem reluctant to heal. I.e. the death of my grandmother 5 years ago still seems so painful. 

The old adage is that time heals all wounds. I’m not certain of it. Not all people heal. The thing I am struggling with here is how even strong characters, like the Countess, can still carry this so long. 

Maybe it is because they are strong, maybe it is because the trauma is. 

Three ideas converging in my mind:

Humans Asserting Divinity: Xerxes (pop-culture), Alexander the Great, Jesus. Also the Divine Right of Kings.

Occam’s Razor: The simplest explanation is most often true. Specifically: David Hume’s logic behind being skeptical about miracles.

Desire for Equality: Pondering the in-groups (white, male, western) that traditionally defined the desired end state of equality. 

Developing thought: 

The most simple explanation in earlier times of power, by the powerful, was that it was divine. 

In modern times, we cannot explain those differences away by divinity. The simple explanation - god - is no longer widely accepted. 

 The equality standard that we have been “aiming” at for the last 100 years (women’s liberation, civil rights, post-colonialism) does not cede to simple explanation.

More knowledge, modern knowledge means... less simplicity? more responsibility? unnecessary complexity? 

Still ruminating. 

I recently resubscribed to the 1000 day principle (roughly a 3 year outlook on life). 

Year 1: Working really hard and going no where fast.  Unwittingly laying a foundation. Easy to give up here. 

Year 2: Realization, refocus & reprioritization.  Still working, but smarter. Blossoming self-awareness. 

Year 3:  Find rhythm. See success. Enjoying the returns on your investment. Maybe.

Things I’m realizing today: 

Year three is not all sunshine and roses. 

This is a cycle, not a checklist. 

I’m on my third cycle. Finishing Year 1. 

Trust people for who they are, not who you wish them to be. 

At an individual level that translates into trusting your drifter friend to help you out when you are hungry, be a sparring partner for your ideas or get up early for a run. 

It does not translate to taking care of your things when you leave for the summer. He is a drifter. Physical possessions don’t mean so much to him. 

This can be extended to organizations. 

A company exists to seek opportunities and take calculated risks in pursuit of profit. This is generally good and it provides employment for individuals. You can trust, that well-led organizations will do this. 

You cannot trust they will take care of you beyond your usefulness. Organizations prioritize the needs of the whole above the individual. 

Context: I used to be a news junkie. Now I never read the news.

Proof (Weak): Read a headline from a year ago, it is usually unimportant. 

It takes time and energy. It’s usually frustrating and built for rage or an emotional response to fuel clicks and own your attention. 

Alternatives: I prefer history. I read history books. 

Or books from pundits on the left and the right. Then I can get the distilled arguments and ignore the emotionally charged chatter. 

Drinking: La Cabra - Bensa Logita from Sidoma, Ethiopia in Chemex with V60 Filters

Reading: Florida Scott-Maxwell’s Measure of My Days

Pondering: Hardiness p.45

Hardiness is a quality supposedly created by difficulty and I have always felt it to be a stimulating virtue. I like people who have it and that must mean that I like people who have been disciplined by hardship, which is true. I find them realistic, not easily daunted, and they make few childish claims. This also means that the hardiness of life I deplore creates the qualities I admire. 

Thoughts:

Suck it up, don’t complain, be patient. You will be a better person for it. 

Trying to make a conscious choice about my informational intake. 

Step 1: Choose what to eat

For me, it’s books. 

Step 2: Choose what not to eat

That means saying no, not much to:  Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Blogs, Medium, News, Magazines. 

Step 3: Know why you do it

Practical, Mundane, Trivial, Ridiculous. Why? 

Give myself time to ponder ideas. Slowly.

Build a library. Tactile. Real. 

The art & the form. 

Exploring different perspectives. Sans infotainment.

Feel goods introvert. Solitude.

Finishing things. 

Thinking Deeply. 

Time Travel. 

Staying off my phone. 

Life Goals and Bucket List books. 

Bragging Rights. 

Learning, Knowledge and Curiosity. 

Pleasure. Fun. 

Interesting Conversations. 

Step 4: Know the cost

I will be out of date on the current events of yesterday. I’ll always be dumb when it comes to the latest news. 

I don’t easily engage in the pop-culture of the age. Maybe I’ll get old too fast, not be able to connect with my peers on memes or hashtags or fads.  

You’ll get a lot of books at Christmas (yay!)