Will

Getting invited to watch a couple have sex but I get bored and start treating it like a boxing match, occasionally pulling the top away to pat their forehead with a towel and squirt Gatorade in their mouth (I get invited back)

polyamorous captain Torres be like one million wives

Bionicles (cool)

You die and go to heaven and the pearly gates open to reveal probably billions of the aliens from Signs (2002) and they’re all sitting around playing pool or something and when they notice you standing there there’s like a record scratch and they just sort of stare at you confused and then you immediately fall through the clouds and land in hell

I don’t know what a kilogram is, or a pound. Ok?

Porn parody of Dune called Gune and the main characters have to fuck arrhythmically to avoid alerting the sandworms

I have Opinions on what an inch is