She is Fierce

That war well predates tumblr, of course, but social media has the easiest examples I can think of. Remember those, “screw small talk, let’s talk about space exploration and museums” posts? That’s what I have in mind.

It’s a tempting idea, because small talk can be boring and annoying. The idea of plunging immediately into “real conversation” sounds profound, liberating, intoxicating.

It’s a lie, though. That way lies forced intimacy. Small talk done correctly is an act of charity and hospitality. I do not owe my “top three feelings” to the barista, nor do they owe me anything. We do not owe acquaintances or passing strangers anything, really, beyond politeness. This sounds cruel, but it should fit right in with the culture’s current emphasis on boundaries, burnout, and consent.

I always have a small collection of questions and answers ready for small talk.

What am I reading? I pick the books that are less weird and more relateable. What am I doing? I pick the crafts that would be most appealing.

For parents of babies and toddlers - how are your kids sleeping? What do they like playing with? Students - how’s that terrible paper assignment? Anyone over 50 - how are you feeling? (They need no encouragement on this.)

You see my point.

The goal of small talk isn’t to bare your soul. That’s extremely uncomfortable for everyone else involved. #didntask

The goal is to work within societal and conversational conventions, to have pleasant conversations with people who don’t know you well.

I have some extreme beliefs, but my parents (who had the same beliefs) prioritized knowing how to talk and listen in a way that 1) put acquaintances and strangers at ease, and 2) kept things interesting and safe.

It seems stuffy when you’re younger, and any convention sparks the desire to rebel against the Rigid Confines Of Victorian Mores. And, as it tends to happen, shedding the rules in the name of “truth” or “greater authenticity” results in this bizarre, inappropriate, terribly invasive, “what color is your heart today?”

Image of the Week – June 22, 2020

CIL:11397 - http://cellimagelibrary.org/images/11397

Description: Figure 218 from Chapter 7 (Mitochondria) of ‘The Cell, 2nd Ed.’ by Don W. Fawcett M.D. The typical structural organization of mitochondria is revealed in this longitudinal section of a mitochondrion and surrounding cytoplasm from pancreas of the bat, Myotis lucifugus. It is bounded by a smooth outer membrane about 7nm thick. An inner membrane has infoldings called cristae that project into the interior of the organelle.

Author: Keith Porter

This is the natural counter argument of course, followed by X, and maybe Z. This is exactly what V wants you to think.

Q isn’t great, but it has some advantages. You’re almost always guaranteed to know the next letter, for starters. You’ve got some good equ- and aqu- staple words, familiar and safe. Equine. Aquatic. Question. Q can be exotic, but it is right at home in the tamer words and letter patterns. Same for X and Z!

V, lurching from the lexical alleyways, can rarely (ever?) end a word. You have to baby V’s delicate sensibilities with vowels - ever, available, remove. V refuses to get along with consonants, and the few times it consents, it only relents at the end of the world, like involve.

It’s extremely difficult to make short words with V. You need lots of vowels, until you need consonants!! Can YOU think of common prefixes and suffixes with V? “Ova” ok cool sure, yeah what a normal word inveterate vagrant consonant. “Ivy!” oh ok so now I need Y’s?? “Via!” 2 vowels! Die! It is FAITHLESS! Feckless! Lacking a moral compass!