In Love With All These Vampires

what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

ai generating my suicide note cause I couldn't think of anything

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth

bleeding

she nothing on my nothing til i nothing. celibacy

to be fair to Cain if nobody had ever died before and I didn't know it was possible I would probably also hit my brother over the head with a rock if he was being really annoying

i should have claws and fangs but whatever

Oh woah hey there 🐱 I think that was a funny little accident just now. 🐱 You see I was just licking this plate of food left on the counter and you 🐱 pushed my face right out of the way. I think you just did not notice 🐱 my face was there so no worries, I’ll just go back to 🐱 OH you’ve pushed my face away again? Sorry I don’t mean to embarrass 🐱 you but I am in the middle of something here so I will simply just 🐱 You have pushed my face away again?????? 🐱🐱🐱

Ethnic is one of the funnier euphemisms for not white. Damn you look like you come from somewhere

in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently