Snoodle @magentasnoodle - Tumblr Blog

it's easy to underestimate the importance of sleep until you don't sleep well

I have issues falling asleep which have been getting worse so I didn't sleep at all tonight, and i'm trying to push through the day so maybe i could fall asleep at night easily

but wow I am GONE I am not functioning and can't do anything

#this is how i felt in high school!#my current sleep schedule is being effected by 2 things #the first is rythem heaven which I love but is hitting the wrong part of my brain #I am EXTREMELY sensitive to things getting stuck in my head #I didn't listen to songs with lyrics all of highschool because I couldn't take songs getting stuck in my head #it's torture #so now I just have “1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8!” stuck in my head #I can't stop counting the music won't stop it's driving my crazy #and the second thing is MY HEART?????#it's been beating weird #and i've been ignoring it thinking it's nothing or a side effect of my pills but I think it's getting worse???#I am very very very verrryyyy scared about it #which doesn't help at all because it makes me more aware of my heartbeat and also probably makes my heartbeat worse #AND means I'm too scared to get it checked #life is stressful enough ok I can't deal going to the doctor right now #I have an english exam on wednesday !!#anyway time to spend the rest of the day just kinda staring because I can't do anything

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this is happening to me too much lately

#tbf I think panel 3 just describes the entire experience you don't really need the rest #anyway just trying to cover the bases with trigger warnings because I don't like talking about these stuff #tw suicidal ideation #tw sui ideation #tw selfhate #tw suicidality #tw self hate #doodle #stuff i don't talk to my psychologist about because i'm too scared

this interaction felt very targeted

#still very funny to me #doodle #deltarune #deltarune chapter 5 #deltarune chapter five #my art #deltarune spoilers

hi! just writing in to say that you create lovely art, from the small doodles to your most masterful pieces. it's always a joy to see you've shared a new piece of it with the world <3

i'm super proud of you. you're doing great.

thank you, it means a lot ;-;

#trying my best #ask

I keep drawing little guys sitting to express my emotion, I guess that I'm just feeling like a little guy sitting

#uh i just feel so dumb #in this way that's like a fundamental flaw i'll never get over #because I know i don't care enough to actually improve or develop myself #so i'm just going to always be a bit mediocre and never do anything interesting #because I am just like that i guess #sometimes I wish I passionate about better things #i can't just be passionate about deltarune man #i'm having a mid 20s midlife crisis of “welp I guess i'll never amout to anything”#doodle

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saw too many things and now I feel like this

#just do whatever you want!!!#why do people care!!!#I feel my brain is starting a deep analysis of the idea of gender again and please I don't have time for this I need to work

I wanted to share all my miis to TomodachiShare just because i'm so proud of them and their outfits, but i forgot to take photos of the detail page and I can't be bothered right now so here are the miis!

Ace attorney:

Deltarune:

+spamton in his bedroom because I like how it turned out

Undertale:

I also forgot to take a photo of mad mew mew so here's her rocking the stage (and undyne on the keyboard because it's also cool)

TADC: (pomni blinked)

These guys are newer so don't have custom outfits yet, can't wait to unlock the jester outfit for pomni

and Bonus! WALL-E !

and of course, hatsune miiku:

i love her

all my artistic motivation had gone into tomodatchi life in the past few months, so I just really need to share everything

#tomodatchi life #tomodachi life #tomodachi living the dream #i love miis #mii enjoyer #mii characters #deltarune #undertale #ace attorney #tadc #the amazing digital circus #wall e #hatsune miku #this was a waste of time but oh well

damn, i'll never be as cool as temmie chang and toby fox

#I don't understand how people get anything done #like I want to do big projects #but I never get to them because I always have too many small projects #there's always SOMETHING to do #how am I supposed to start working on a video game like this #or even finish my portfolio ehem ehem #I wish I was a cool video game developer #but I am stuck between only being able to work or rest #there's never room for just things to do for myself #doodle

had a screaming-crying-on-the-floor panic attack in front of strangers today, and it is quite the experience

#shame is so stupid sometimes #why am i so embarrassed #I usually don't like to say I have 'panic attacks'#because of the the conscious voice that just says im exagerating/overreacting #it makes me feel so stupid #haha anyway I think this might have been one of the worst experiences in my life #doodle #vent

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in my quest of trying to be able to do everything myself I am now trying to learn how to write music, and by that I mean pressing random keys on the piano until it sounds nice

this is technically the 3rd melody I wrote but the first one I was actually able to transcribe (transcribing is apparently the hard part)

#playing piano is a major hobby of mine #but it's more like playing a game #because I just play existing songs #so making music was always magic to me #and I dont have the best musical ear #so the fact I was able to make this is honestly shocking #it's not the best and I still dont know how to do things well but it's a learning curve and i'm learning!!!#yay!!!#music #midi

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some people sketch such beautiful things, when all of my sketches just look like this

#I can't escape it #I just keep doodling little guys #doodle #my art

I hate needing to work !! I don't like being told want to do I want to do my own little projects!!!! I want to make a little witchy gameeeeeee!!!

(I can't stop thinking of ideas for witchy game so have more concept art for witchy game)

#ok i'll be honest I can't just blame work #I just have horrible time management #like horrible horrible #even if I didn't have work I have other personal projects with a higher priority which have been waiting in line for months #I just don't know how to handle all the things I want and need to do #it feels like there's always something urgent and then nothing else gets done #I HAVEN'T CLEANED MY ROOM IN MONTHS #AAAAAAAAAAAAA #I am just specifically upset at work because I don't earn a lot of money #which make sense with the amount of time I work (not much)#but still !!!#I don't even have a full time job and I feel like i'm drowning #i don't understand how the world works

I want to disappear until it will all end but I can't disappear and it won't end

#sorry for vent posting a lot lately #i am just going crazy again #THEY CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS #:(

magentasnoodle

I have a toxic relationship with apps that weaponize bad user experience to get you to pay

magentasnoodle

rebloging this because ads on YouTube radicalise me and yet I refuse to pay for premium

#just got hit with a video with 4 sponsers and while skipping the sponsers i hit 2 midroll ads #AND THERE WERE ADS BEFORE #and watching long videos from my phone is hell because THERE'S AN AD EVERY 5 MINUTES #AND ALSO NOW THE AD SLIGHTLY STAYS ON THE SCREEN AND YOU HAVE TO PRESS 2 BUTTONS TO CLOSS IT #because of course why have a simple X when you can have a menu and hit close #RAHHHHH

life is hard right now

#why must pain feel so competitive #yes it could be much worse #yes I should be grateful for what I have #but it's still so hard #I just want to cry my eyes out #I feel so helpless #i can't do anything #get me out of here

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I'm already at rock bottom because of the world around me, so my right arm hurting too much for me to use it is maybe the last thing I needed

#art was my one coping mechanism #are you kidding me #i can't even use my phone or eat food without being in pain

every time I am upset, I think about how lemons alone are not enough to make lemonade, life also needs to give you some sugar

and you know what? if I have access to sugar and I am mad enough at the lemons, I will ignore the lemons and just eat the sugar

#this is to say #sometimes when stuff feels particularly unlucky I don't want to try thinking of “the bright side”#this sucks!!! a lot!!! i don't want to try turning this into something good because I am mad and upset #but I am going to use the other nice things in my life to cheer up despite it #makes sense?#doodle #my art #i just been thinking of this lemon thing a lot and I decided to post it now because life truely handed me a whole lot of lemons

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