Narks Always Bark

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

@official-boob-posts

yeah

*coughs blood* youre all just jealous of my wound. yuore trying to make me get rid of it because you wish you had a wound this cool

a cat giving you a loving gaze means so much. dogs stare at you like they love you all the time, cats give you the nastiest stink eye so when they actually gaze at you lovingly you feel like you’re actually worth loving and have done something to achieve that.

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

boss makes a spider i make a slime. that's why i . thas why, tthats why i uhhh. t. thawhy

t.gats why i can't think up an end to the rhyme

GET BACK TO WORK

Liquor? Um yeah bud if she’ll let me

Gideon the Ninth ass post.

Just ignore the overwhelming guilt that you should be doing something even if it's your single day off lmao