BUT THEN SHE WON'T EVER BE ME

So the State Government where I live is actually… pretty freakin’ fantastic?!?

To be genuinely proud of my elected representatives is such an unfamiliar feeling, I’m not sure what to do with it. 

I can’t remember where I heard this, but someone once said that defending a position by citing free speech is sort of the ultimate concession; you’re saying that the most compelling thing you can say for your position is that it’s not literally illegal to express.

FANCASTING: Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Milo Thatch: Andrew Garfield

‘Kids’ Kidagakash: Zoe Saldana

Commander Rourke: Tommy Lee Jones

Helga Sinclair: Charlize Theron

Audrey Ramirez: Francia Raisa

Dr. Joshua Sweet: Terry Crews

‘Vinny’ Santorini: John Turturro

Gaetan ‘The Mole’: Timothy Spall

Mrs. Packard: Helen Mirren

King Kashekim Nedakh: Morgan Freeman

AH NO YOU’VE DISCOVERED OUR SECRET! PERTH ISN’T REAL!

EVERYONE RUN! WE’VE BEEN FOUND OUT!

We have some very unique flora including the Exotic Dildo Pineapple:

And the infamous near extinct Southern Snot Cactus:

And a very rare breed of tree that is commonly found everywhere known as a “Crane”:

Cranes are an important part of the native ecosystem and have made themselves an iconic part of our skyline.

While in Perth please respect our local customs like forgetting how to merge on the freeway, glassing a stranger in Northbridge on a Saturday night, being late to anywhere you want to go via bus, and cutting off ties with anyone who lives on the opposite side of the river than you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a short train ride… they’re dead to you. You can only choose North or South.

Enjoy your stay! And remember: The Sonic Manipulator watches over all of us… may he busk in the city for decades to come so future generations can enjoy his dancing.

I promised my firstborn to a witch and really don’t want to make good on the deal

Well you can have them FOR me if it’s that big a deal to you

I don’t think I could get a good price for em on the black market

Fight me Helen

I can’t be a better parent than Angelina Jolie so why even bother

That’s my nindo. My ninja way.

I literally JUST sat down

Recite “The Highway Man” from Over the Garden Wall

Kids? What are those? I don’t understand. What are these youOH GRAVY WHAT IS THAT!?

Oohhh no, I’ve seen Disney movies, I know what happens to mothers

Centipedes? In my vagina?

*Angrily* YOU SEE!? This is just like that episode of Spongebob! *insert the plot of any episode of Spongebob in excruciating detail*

I heard they’re.. you know.. itchy. Like, as soon as you have a kid. Just totally itchy. Everything.

I’m an Aries

Well, we already got an even number so.. *shrug*

I must first capture the Avatar to regain my honor

I’m allergic

That’s just what the communists want!

I’ve been dead for seven years

Santa didn’t bring me one last Christmas, so I guess it’s no meant to be

I’m afraid they’ll have bad taste in memes

It would be unfair to my cat

I’m chaotic neutral

*long farting noise lasting at least 45 seconds*