Hello Stranger

knew this woman who used to be a gay man and when he was a gay man he liked ‘ironically’ referring to himself as she/her and so when he came out as a woman he decided the next logical step was to also switch his pronouns to he/him.

puppy on head idiot

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

shall i come over and pickle those so they no longer taunt you

Chuck Jones is the best counterexample to “the curtains are just blue” because you would not believe the amount of thought and art theory he put into his silly little cartoons

Scientists have found that if you get 8 hours of sleep and are still tired during the day it’s because your soul is cursed and your body doesn’t think you deserve happiness. There is no cure or treatment

I need to go rub one out. *goes to my secret chamber where the walls are covered in tally marks and I erase one mark* *it is unclear what happens when they run out*