Lizard

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

you had to be there

ladies if youre a kpoppie, please occasionally take the time to remind yourself that you are a fan of just some guy

ladies if youre into mcyt, please occasionally take the time to remind yourself that you are a fan of just some guy

minecraft youtubers.

No one ever expects the spanish ministry of science and technology

SCREAMING my mom just called out of the blue to be like "hey have you ever read fahrenheit 451?? it's so good!!" and i was surprised she hadn't read it before but we chatted a little about the book and then at one point she goes "yeah i just never got around to it bc i didn't really like star trek" which of course had me going "huh?" followed quickly by "mom. mom do you think gene roddenberry wrote farenheit 451 or that ray bradbury created star trek." and after a veeeeery long silence she says, ".....this would explain some of the tonal differences"

you shoulda seen the size of those rooms, man, it was like, floor to ceiling

Survival-themed cyberpunk RPG where instead of weapons having durability, you need to purchase subscriptions for each of your weapons, which deplete based on how much damage you inflict. Hit points exist in-universe as a value calculated by your weapons' built-in biometric scanners to meter subscription usage. You can top up a weapon's subscription credits at conveniently located kiosks, or "bank" extra credits beyond a given weapon's rated capacity by carrying gift cards.

If you hurt someone by hitting them with a rock or some other non-networked object, this is a serious felony – not because of the violence, but because due to a series of obscure legal precedents, using an object with no associated weapon subscription to cause measurable harm counts as circumventing copy protection.

What about beating someone to death with a firearm? Is that considered jailbreaking?

dreamt that i went to a car dealership and Light Yagami and L were there and I saw L first so I went "woah are you L death note?" and L went "L what?" and light went " L WHAT."

I went to stupid bitch island and everybody knew you

well why were YOU there huh

i do think it'd be really hot to get to obnoxiously say "sorry, you had to cast it in response to your own miracle trigger" and then watch a girl angrily take her shirt off. it's an experience i think i need to have at least once, for the sake of my own survival.

the best jokes leave their punchline up until the last word. nipple

I do tend to be suspicious of art that really lauds and worships the idea of being an artist. Like yes, art is cool, I think it's valuable, there's a reason I make it. But let's not get overly self congratulatory here

I think it's okay to love what you do, and even celebrate that. But there's a line that gets crossed sometimes where the art goes... "unlike all of those stupid people, who just dont get it." And it's like... hey... who are you making this for, exactly?

reminds me of that "artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, mattresses are our canvas" post or however that goes. always makes me laugh

Where is that post that's like "art is a natural human behavior just like birds make nests and spiders spin webs, and focusing on being 'good at it' is missing the point"