dream's fieldnotes 💘

whenever you have the tendency to use the word "trying" to describe your current situation, it means you're doing too much and it's good for nothing, certainly not for you.

i'm trying to manifest... i'm trying to become... i'm trying to make it happen... i'm trying to let go...

etc. etc.

the name of God is I AM, not I TRY or I DO. it doesn't matter what you're trying to do, for God you ARE just someone who is trying at that moment.

BEING is the core of our existence. if you think that there's something more that you have to do, if you think that you cannot just BE but have to try to do something more, then you are overcomplicating things.

your new desired identity (state) might seem tiny at first. that is okay. what matters is that it's what you want. just like a mustard seed is tiny but will grow into a big lush plant. the size doesn't matter, what matters is that it is a mustard seed. the same way your desired state might feel tiny at the beginning. let it be tiny. it'll grow through you the more you come back to it.

this also applies to areas of life outside of manifesting:

you're not trying to love. you either love or you don't. you're not trying to change. you're either changing or you're not. you're not trying to heal. you're either healing or not.

the speed doesn't matter. baby steps are still movement. don't label them as just "trying". trying is a trap. trying is an artificial effort of your conscious self (the outer man). being is a divine act. just let the mustard seed be at the size where it is right now. it'll grow, but let it be where it is at this moment.

identity is the opposite of harmony (going with the flow, tao, being the whole existence, the I AM). identity is like a knot on smoothness of existence.

you are either holding on to attachments and living from an identity created by your ego fighting against the world around you. or you're moving through life unconditionally in a way that is unique to you knowing that you are the whole life, the whole existence. that you are the experience itself and not just the experiencer.

wholeness and harmony lie in being the way, not just the identity of the ego. ego on its own is just a tool, just a part of this life experience. it allows you to experience your real self (= the life, existence) in 1st person pov. it's like a camera attached to one character giving you a unique experience, but you are the whole play.

You’re trying to correct something. You’re trying to become something. You’re trying to do something. And something does not exist. Also, what you’re trying to correct does not exist. What you’re trying to change does not exist. You get nowhere. This is why I tell you so often, leave everything alone. Have no opinion for or against. Do not be judgmental. Be nothing and you’ll be everything. I’m trying to tell you, do not look for reasons why you do something. When you start giving up all reasoning, all ambition, when you start surrendering all of your so-called power, your human power that you think you have, this is when the mind begins to slow down. Practicing many forms of meditation, going to teachers, reading many books. And what becomes of you? You may get a good feeling, then it goes away and you’re back where you started from. The only thing that you should do or must do, is not to be in conflict with anything. Do not be in conflict with anyone or anything. When you’re not in conflict with anything, the mind begins to surrender itself and goes back into the Heart, and you become your Self. This is the easiest thing that you ever had to do. It’s simplicity itself. It’s simplicity itself, because there is nothing you have to do. There is nothing you have to become. There is no one you have to change. You are That.

I've never really felt that before I think but I'm trying lately to fill my days with all the things I love and relax into my current situation

its just something you… surrender into. especially after fighting for so long. it goes along with deattachment and amy (illuminatingjoy) expresses it best. deattachment is, perfectly put, “yes, i would love for that to happen. but, i don’t need it to be happy.”

when you start living like that, and just focusing on living the best you can in the moment you are in, that’s when it all becomes effortless. you start focusing on cultivating the experience you want, which begins within yourself. it’s like i once read… you stop living from the idea of “i have x, so i feel x” and you flip that to “i feel x, so i have x” you stop looking for outer support to embody that feeling, that experience. and you don’t need anything outside of yourself to confirm it. it’s yours, it belongs to you. no one and nothing can take away your inner feelings of love, peace, fulfillment, etc… because it’s yours. you created it on your own. and it’s a beautiful feeling. even in a darker moment, you still have that deep love that carries you through it. because what is yours, can never be lost.

out of all of the possibilities, all of the potential scenarios it was you who came into existence. all that is, great I AM, the God itself chose to experience life through you specifically. you chose to experience life through you. instead of being nothing, you chose to experience filling your lungs with fresh air and hear beautiful melodies and smell lovely flowers and have thoughts and feelings and friends and feel love. instead of just being love, you chose to experience feeling loved.

your whole existence is an act of love. you did not throw yourself into an alien world filled with strangers and circumstances that are always against you. you gave yourself the whole world. you gave yourself an infinite amount of realities with which you can fill your life. and all of those realities are not just yours, they are you. you are all of the people and opportunities and love and flowers and melodies.

and since you (the God) love yourself so unconditionally, you are allowing yourself to experience absolutely anything from great love to great pain and your world is responding to you to deepen your experience. just how you can feel that the world is always against you, you can feel that the world is always supporting you no matter what because at the end of the day, it's not the world, it's you and what you're choosing to experience.

now, i know that it's not easy to relax yourself into love. it's not easy to expect support from the same sources that used to throw punches at you. but that is okay. it's okay to be scared. it's okay to feel uncertain. by embracing where you're at, you can ignite real love and strength within yourself. but it's okay to be scared first.

i do believe that embracing the law of assumption goes to a certain extent hand in hand with self-development, but the law goes much further. self-development is about getting rid of limitations so that it's easier for you to see that you are loveable. but unconditional love is about embracing that you are loveable even with your limitations. actually, that's what you came here to experience, you are supposed to have limitations, if you weren't you wouldn't be a human being.

you can receive love and support of your whole reality even when you're scared. you can receive love and support of your whole reality even if you don't think you deserve it. you can receive the love and support of all of existence simply because you exist. your existence is proof of that. if you wouldn't be worthy of unconditional love, you couldn't exist. the idea of someone unworthy of love and support simply doesn't exist.

allowing love into your life even just a little bit makes you better naturally. it makes you lighter. it makes you closer to your I AMness. and it's a point that you have to eventually arrive at anyway. you can't keep on "getting better" to deserve your own love in the form of your dreams. you're running like a hamster in a wheel for something you deserve without the effort. that is acting out of fear, not out of unconditional love.

you will always have imperfections. you will always make mistakes. you will always get scared every once in a while. that's why true love is unconditional because it loves regardless of any conditions or circumstances. being perfect is not the goal because then you're still just conditioning the love.

all of your role models, idols, celebrities, CEOs, presidents, models from photos on ig and pinterest, or whatever are still imperfect. they get scared, they have things they're ashamed of, they may feel unloveable or unworthy sometimes, they did or went through some really bad things, but they don't let it stop them from living life the way they want to. and you don't have to either.

a love letter to self 🕊

to dream, to live, to be yourself, and to be in this world authentically

although it is hard at times, i want to remind you always what it means to just be it; how to watch your dreams unfold not only within you but without you. for so long you lived and you thought that everything happened through force and action. for a while you lived, and you thought everything came from the mind. but now you know, it's a beautiful balance. a delicate, sweet dance between a loving inner world and a friendship with life. to be it, you don't just live in the mind. to be it, you don't go out there and act as if. you find a loving relationship between the two. you go out into the world, and you don't have to fear it anymore because you know who you are inside. you go out into the world, and you choose to show love. to show friendship, to be the light. to take a chance, to follow your heart. because you went within yourself, you found the kingdom of heaven, you spoke with god and heard the voice of your heart. and you know it's safe to live life, because you went within and found your life inside of you. when you feel as if you have lost your way, when you feel so trapped in your own head, when you feel so blocked by the circumstances of life... turn within yourself, turn to this letter, and remember you are the way.

sometimes, in our journeys, we might encounter things seemingly getting wore in the 3d. like if you're manifesting good grades but failed your recent quiz or manifesting clearer skin but you get a new pimple the next day. i'm pretty sure we've all heard the "you know the ending of the movie" analogy by now. it holds truth, yes but i've come to realise -

- 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, Brianna Wiest

we have a tendency to project our current feeling state into everything. our past, future, and all areas of our life. the only condition is that you have to let your life be moldable. i already mentioned that i found out that my mind tends to naturally revise my memories if i let it and extrapolation is the reason for that.

extrapolation is also the reason why even if you've experienced immense feelings of loneliness, you can still feel loved to the point where you can't even remember what it felt like being lonely. if you felt like a complete failure and like you're life is falling apart, you can feel genuine pride and joy for yourself and the life you've built in every cell of your body. if you've been consumed by the feeling of lacking something, you can still come to a point where this thing is omnipresent in your life.

and how to keep it

stop trying to get into a state 🦋 seriously, stop making it a thing. it doesnt need to be a thing, because its so natural. its as natural as choosing something, and sticking to it. i used to think there was all these steps and so much to change about myself, to act as if. but really, all it takes is a small choice: i want to experience more love (then become the love), i want to experience more abundance (then become the abundance) etc etc.

fall in love 🦋 gratitude helps a lot with this as well; when you fall in love with your heart's desires (your authentic self), everything becomes easier. you're not forcing yourself to commit or trying to make something happen, youre living and moving in love. this allows for life to flow easily, for you to live in less resistance, and more blessings begin flowing your way so naturally.

trust in yourself 🦋 stop trying to control everything with your mind and allow your heart to take over; truly your heart knows the way and if you can follow it blindly you will find yourself walking right into the treasures of your dreams.

live 🦋 take up hobbies, practice self love and acceptance, learn something new, go an adventure. this life was meant to be lived and explored and embraced. the more you do this, the more you will watch the dreams of your heart unfold, so naturally and beautifully. allow yourself to live in the now and you will see firsthand how natural experiencing what you want was meant to be.

a love letter to self 🕊

to dream, to live, to be yourself, and to be in this world authentically

although it is hard at times, i want to remind you always what it means to just be it; how to watch your dreams unfold not only within you but without you. for so long you lived and you thought that everything happened through force and action. for a while you lived, and you thought everything came from the mind. but now you know, it's a beautiful balance. a delicate, sweet dance between a loving inner world and a friendship with life. to be it, you don't just live in the mind. to be it, you don't go out there and act as if. you find a loving relationship between the two. you go out into the world, and you don't have to fear it anymore because you know who you are inside. you go out into the world, and you choose to show love. to show friendship, to be the light. to take a chance, to follow your heart. because you went within yourself, you found the kingdom of heaven, you spoke with god and heard the voice of your heart. and you know it's safe to live life, because you went within and found your life inside of you. when you feel as if you have lost your way, when you feel so trapped in your own head, when you feel so blocked by the circumstances of life... turn within yourself, turn to this letter, and remember you are the way.