Its Me,Your 3rd Favorite Mom™

to the woman watching the Toxic by Britney Spears music video with no headphones in the psychiatrists waiting room: you’re the only motherfucker in this room who can handle me

this explains so much about my sense of humor

technically we’re ALL, always LARPing, because the Self is only a construct,

I want a new character

Then make one.

i’m mysterious but not on purpose. i’m just trying to leave wherever i am at all times and that makes me seem mysterious when it’s actually the behavior of like. a dumb bird

An enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an inability to understand how exits work. A veritable turducken of inscrutability

okay, “a veritable turducken of inscrutability” is the new best riff on that phrase I’ve ever heard, triumphing by the narrowest of margins over “a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, coated in chocolate, and slathered in secret sauce”.

spiderman literally doesnt have a single spider power. his webs are fake and even his climbing shit is because he can like manipulate molecular attraction or some shit. he may as well be called sticky man

aw shit kids get in the car here comes sticky boy

What’s sex

some naked bullshit

@ past me hey uh how were you ever creative