he felt exposed, as if each layer that had been fused to him this entire time had been peeled back, like stepping into a cold shower. at first, his whole body seized up with tension, bracing himself for impact - for sage to receive everything he had said and reject it anyway. it was terrifying. his jaw clenched, and his hands balled into the tightest fists inside his pocket, but he didn't move; he stayed. after slowly unravelling in front of her, sebastian just stared at her as if the moment itself had caught him off guard. his eyes stayed fixed on her while she spoke, watching the subtle nervousness beneath her honesty, but also the way she still glowed, gazing upon him with that same openness she always carried so naturally.
but you can't hide yourself from me forever, not if i keep looking for you. something in his expression shifted then, like the final strain of holding himself together in the same careful shape was finally starting to wear thin. no matter how hard, despite everything in him that usually recoiled from being seen this way, him standing before her - exposed - was inevitable. every door he would step behind, he never looked behind to see her slipping in behind him like a second shadow, collecting pieces of him like breadcrumbs until she breached all of his defences. before her, most people had fought against it but accepted the distance eventually, adapted to it or worked around it, but sage kept pushing through and stepping closer to it instead. his jaw shifted faintly as he exhaled through his nose, the tension in his shoulders easing just enough to finally betray how tightly wound he'd been this entire conversation. her admission struck him somewhere painfully deep inside. his hand came up over his mouth again, thumb pressing briefly against his lower lip as his gaze dropped to her mouth for the briefest moment before slowly returning to meet her eyes again. there was no polished restraint left in his expression now, only want and something dangerously close to tenderness sitting fully exposed between them. sage stood there looking at him like there was still something worth finding beneath all the locked doors he'd built around himself, and she made him want to open them.
then he carefully stepped toward her, as if he still wasn't fully trusting himself with something he wanted this bad, but the second his hands found her waist, there was something almost involuntary in the way he pulled her closer. he leaned in until their foreheads touched, his eyes closing for a brief second as if he needed the contact just to steady himself. it had been too long since he'd had her this close, since he'd let himself touch her at all, and standing here now with the warmth of her against him, sebastian could feel the full weight of what holding back nearly cost him. "i missed you," he murmured quietly against her hairline, the words softened further by the brush of his lips against her skin afterward.
one of his hands lifted slowly, stopping beneath her chin to tilt her face upward toward him. the tip of his nose bumped gently against hers and finally, a real smile, pulling at his mouth as he looked down at her. "i promise i'll keep coming back for you, and drive you a little crazier every time." a quiet laugh escaped him under the words, and with it went the fragments of the composure he'd been clinging to all evening. now that he'd stopped fighting it, sebastian felt warm all over, his whole body humming with the unfamiliar relief of finally letting himself want something openly. he pressed a kiss to one cheek, then the other, then the tip of her nose before pausing just short of her mouth, his lips hovering there for a moment like he was savouring the anticipation for it then he kissed her. no hesitation, or rush, just enough for it to be deeply felt.
