i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a g**damn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

happy good friday

being in my 20s is like I understand more of my mother and less than i ever have. My childhood friends are strangers to me and there’s no one i know better. i want to drink wine. i never stopped wanting to climb trees. i know more than I’ve ever known before. I don’t know anything at all. i’m seven years old and sixteen and twenty nine and seventy. I can’t tell when i'm happy. I think the only thing that will make me happy is to be little again. i want to be really old. i go to the ocean and feel like nothing matters more than that. in my bedroom everything matters so much. I go to the grocery store every day. i know how to cook a lot of things but the only thing i know how to eat is fried eggs. I can take care of myself but i want to be taken care of. i want to go home and I don't know where that is. i think it may be somewhere inside of me but i’m not sure

they should have adapted daphne du maurier's rebecca with the muppets

happy suck her off saturday. theres no other events today

if a werewolf dies but they were an organ donor does someone get a new kidney that turns into a wolf kidney once a month

imagine having a feeling of pure bloodlust radiate from one side of your mid-back approximately every 28 days

I don’t need to imagine

we need irl subtitles. what are you guys even saying

I am against all misinformation except the conspiracy theory that Queen Elizabeth II is already dead and they're covering it up because it's extremely funny