Whatās For Dinner?
You know what I would love to eat for dinner?
Lasagna.
I love lasagna so much!
But lasagna isnāt an option.
I wish it were, but because of forces beyond my control, there are only two possible things I could eat for dinner: frozen fish sticks or a burger.
I hate frozen fish sticks. Burgers are OK. Those facts are beside the point.
I REALLY WANT LASAGNA.
Lasagna is so good! It has so many delicious things in it, like CHEESE and CARBS. I like all kinds of lasagna, from the very traditional red sauce lasagna to the slightly more innovative spinach artichoke lasagna to the somewhat experimental butternut squash lasagna!
I am VERY passionate about lasagna.
Well, OK, Iām not SO passionate, itās just that I like it better than burgers and fish sticks (ugh). So Iām gonna pass on those dinners. I would rather hold out for lasagna.
LASAAAAAAAGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I know lasagna isnāt exactly an option, but I really WANT lasagna to be an option. Thatās why Iām OK going hungry for a while. Because itās important to me to go for what I really want. Even if itās āunrealisticā or āimpracticalā or--what was that other phrase? Oh, yes: āmoronic beyond even the greatest limits of sense and imagination.ā Haha! ;)
So yeah, thatās my choice. Lasagna. Or, as some people call it, āstarvation and eventual death.ā Those people are what I call ārealists.ā I do not like them. Certainly not as much as I like lasagna.
Which is why, you know, Iām here--well, the parts of me that currently remain. Some parts are gone because my own stomach acid has been dissolving my body from the inside out. Right now Iām pretty much a face on some bloody limbs.
People have asked me if my brainās still functioning and Iām like āas good as it always was!ā I explain that I decided a long time ago to have lasagna for dinner. That makes them agree with me. They say āyup, it seems that your brain has always functioned at this levelā as they walk away, shaking their heads. I smile at their backs with my half-mouth.
āLasagna!ā I say. āLasagnalasagnalasagnalasagnalasagnalasagna,ā which is actually just nonsense.Ā āLasagna,ā I say again, because principles. I have them, along with 84% organ function loss. I would be fucking shitting myself with superiority if I werenāt already shitting myself with the last drops of my putrid life force.Ā
āLasagna,ā I whisper, even though nobody is left to hear me.
lasagna
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