I found my place in this big world

April 17, 2018

This morning when I woke up and checked on Pip, I discovered that she wasn’t feeling well, and thought she might be (getting) sick. I was up early because I was stopping by to wake her up and press all her fun buttons, before we had to make our way to work. I sighed with empathy at my phone. My girl has been having a rough time on various fronts lately, and sick is what I was sure she didn’t need on top of it all. Immediately, I altered my headspace from one of Dominant, to that of Caretaker. This morning was going to need to be about comfort and care for my sick little bean, and not playing with all the fun holes. You know what folks? - that was just fine. 

I know all the subs out there are all about being good little service girls. They want to have the holes available for their partner “anytime and anywhere”, as the kinky adage goes. I’m here to tell you that it’s 100% OK that you don’t, and you can’t. You take care of us plenty, and sometimes it’s time for you to just be, and let your partner take care of you. It doesn’t make you any less of a submissive. Let that toxic guilt go. 

I know there are Dominants out there who don’t give a fuck if their sub is sick, if they are sad, or just simply not in the headspace to be of service. They will go ahead and dig into what was given to them anyway, sighting the agreement of submission over the reality of present circumstances. Shame on you. If your sub can spread those legs, take those licks, and care for you as often as you want, why can you not make some small effort to care of he/she who takes care of you and your every need? 

I spent the morning laying in Pip’s bed, letting her drape herself over me in various positions as she slept fitfully. Before I left, I made sure she had some medicine in her, and water by her bedside. She didn’t need much from me, just a Daddy who understood that the order of the day was being next to her in bed, holding her for a couple of hours while she slept, and not one that was focused only on themselves, and their own desires. Thankfully Pip’s Daddy knows that it’s not always time to play.  

Une explosion des sens de l'ouïe

"Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world. None may atone for my actions but me, and only in me shall their stain live on. I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with wizened hands. All I can be is sorry, and that is all I am."

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.