Martina

being a woman is like. i want to be monstrous. i want to be desired.

Why was Shrek’s soundtrack so incredible like who sat down and decided that a movie about an ogre would have a beautiful Rufus Wainwright ballad followed by a Smash Mouth/Eddie Murphy cover of I’m A Believer and how can I thank them

siri do my pets know i’m cleaning out their eye boogs or do they think i just like poking them in the corneas for fun all the time

spotify wrapped but it’s your bank showing you your 100 worst purchases of the year

C R Y I N G OMG

oh shit not this fucking bullshit again oh my god jfklsdjflkj

THESE ARE GOLDEN

THESE ARE THE BEST THINGS IN EXISTENCE OMG

@turtrussel

Oh dear me

can you OD on vitamin D

that’s how icarus died

I write sins not five page research papers

Cain killing Able

Jesus

Nooo not the red one

Power rangers wild force

the important questions

They said they were holding steady, not that they were holding healthy.

“Patient’s vitals are steady.” “Doctor… They’re dead.” “And maintaining that state quite well.”

reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for

Honestly that’s a brilliant marketing strategy